When Zeb was three Damie and I made our very first trip together to New York City. Damie had been before, actually she lived there for a short time, but it was my first ever trip. We were going for 3 days and I was over the moon about it. New York was one of my many dream cities to visit, and it was finally happening.
Those three days were blissful, to say the least. It rained one whole day but it didn't put a damper on my spirits, we had a great time despite the rain. We stayed at the Westin Hotel, right in the middle of time square, and on that rainy day they gave us free umbrella's. Cool right!!
It was an amazing trip, but there is one thing I remember well and that was a pair of shorts I had bought for the trip. They were very nice, but when I arrived in New York I discovered that they were a bit snugger than I had remembered when I tried them on a few weeks before. How could this be, well easy, I had gained weight once again and then had to endure two days in them, even if they were tight and uncomfortable. I did it, and after returning home the shorts went into the "too tight" tote and there they lived until two days ago.
I pulled out those "too tight' shorts a couple of days ago, and they were big. They have a two places on the waist that tighten and even with both tightened as far as they go I still have room. I can't tell you how good that makes me feel.
Weight loss is a strange and wonderful thing. I try not to look at the scale, at least I don't look at it more than once a week, but it is much more powerful to discover something that never quite fit, fits so well it's like it was custom made for you. This has such a wonderful effect on the image you have of yourself. It just makes waking up so much more worth it.
For more years than not I have either gone to sleep or woke up or both with the same thoughts. How am I going to lose weight. This was something that took a hold of me and never let me go, until now. I can't tell you how many night, especially Sunday nights, falling asleep thinking about the new start that I was planning for the next day. I would tell myself, "tomorrow I am going to stick to these many calories, and this time I am going to do it until I have lost all the weight". This Sunday thinking has happened for most of my life, and even more so since Zeb was born.
Along with the nighttime thoughts come the morning thoughts. No matter how amazing your dream was the night before, there is this sinking feeling that takes over your mind moments after opening your eyes, when you remember you are fat and you still have not done anything about it. It grabs you like a bad case of food poising....not letting you go until it's had it's way with you. That dreadful feeling, in most cases filled my morning, and lots of times afternoons, until it was all I thought about. I couldn't rid myself of it, until now.
Now I don't think much about weight loss, it's happening. All I have to do now is stick to what they say, eat what I am supposed to eat and the rest will take care of itself. It is such a freeing feeling, it's a miracle.
Anyone who doesn't think losing weight via weight loss surgery is hard, well you should come live with me for a few days and just see how hard it is. It is no easy way out I can tell you that, I would have much rather done this without surgery, but that was just not possible for me, so there you have it. I have this miracle tool now that allows me to make the right choices and see the results quickly....which leads to doing the right thing over and over.....because you like how it all feels and how well you are doing.
I am so glad my New York shorts fit for now, and look forward to the day when I pass them on to someone else who needs them. It makes it all worth while.
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