When Damie and I first met and got together we were poor as church mice. I had quit my job as a transport truck driver to come live in Texas. She was working two jobs that paid peanuts, one at the only amusement park in Houston as a wood cutter, and another at a musical theatre. Both places were owned by the same guy, so that explains the two jobs. She would work during the day cutting signs for people to take home with them from their day at the park. You know the type, you give the person your name and they go cut it out of wood for you to take home and put on your desk for ever and ever to come. She worked by day at the park, and at night at the theatre. She would never become rich, but she was happy for the most part.
When I moved to Texas I had this idea that I would get settled and then attempt to gain employment at a trucking company and all would be well. I moved there on Aug. 2, 2001, one month or so before 9/11. After 9/11 everything changed as far as getting a visa to live and work in the States so I was faced with one of two options, I could move back to Canada and leave Damie behind and try the long distance thing which wasn't working well before I moved, or I could stay and find whatever work I could do to make some money and keep our heads out of water. The decision wasn't hard, I was madly in love and there was no way I was leaving her behind, so I became an undocumented worker. Yes, I was breaking the law, but your heart speaks louder than your brain sometimes.
Damie and I took whatever jobs we could get. We did repair jobs around peoples houses, we cleaned, we did yard work, we did everything imaginable. If anyone said to us, "well I have this thing I would like to get done" we would volunteer to do it even if we didn't quite have the knowledge to do it. I remember once taking a job to re-sod someones front and back yards. I had no clue how to do that, but somehow we got it done and most of it was fine.
One day we got a call from a woman who knew someone we had done some work for. She was looking for someone to come to her mother-in-laws house 3 nights a week and make sure he had something to eat and get her ready for bed. She thought it would only take an hour or so and she was willing to pay us enough to make it worth our while. I was good about it, but Damie wasn't so sure about it. She didn't much like the whole nurse maid idea, where I was very comfortable working with the elderly. I had worked in a nursing home for a while after high school and learned to appreciate the elderly. Once we talked about it we decided that we would take the job.
The ladies name was Miss Tinny, she was in her late 80's, spent most of her time in a wheel chair, even though she could walk it just made it easier for her to get around. She lived in a old home in a section of Houston called the Heights. The house smelled of old fried food, natural gas, and that "someone old lives here smell". I didn't much like the smell of the place, but I got past it. She wore her hair long and it was so grey it was white. When I looked at it it looked like white silk. It was thin and didn't have a lot of life left to it, but it had a nice shine. She wasn't the nicest of people, but I certainly had met harder to get along with people than her. I remember one guy in the nursing home who used to take a swing at me when I was trying to get him ready for bed. I can't blame him much, I am sure he didn't much like having a strange female removing his clothes nightly, so I always gave him a little leeway. Besides, he was as blind as a bat so he never really knew where to swing to, and I would see it coming long before he was even close. Anyway, Miss Tinny wasn't mean that way, just a bit crotchety if you know what I mean.
The first time Damie and I went we walked in, sat in her living room and chatted a bit and then went and made her some soup for dinner. She requested the soup, which was nice as I am not very good at deciding what to feed people, even my own people. After she was done eating we went and got her bed ready and Damie took her to the bathroom so she could ready herself for bed. Once she was done getting ready we helped her with her night gown and then her pills. Everything seemed to go like clockwork, nothing shocking, nothing too hard, this was going to be a good job we thought.
Damie and I left Miss Tinny's place and went home. It was about a five or six minute drive, not far, very convenient. When we arrived home we noticed there was a message on our machine. Damie when and push the button to listen to it, and this is what we heard. "Helloooo Daaaamie, Oh Daaamie, it's Miss Tinny callin, I have decided I don't need help, so you don't need to come by again" click! Now you have to envision this with a strong southern accent...as she was very southern.
Damie and I went about our life, we accepted that maybe we just weren't what she wanted for help and all was good. A day latter we received a call from the woman who hired us to do the job. She told me that she talked to Miss Tinny, and that they both would really like us to come back and do the job we had agreed to do. Damie and I decided to try it again, so that's what we did. The next night we went by at the same time, made her some dinner, got her ready for bed, and by the time we got home there was a message on the machine. This time when we hit the button to hear the message this is what we heard "Daaaaamie, Oh Daaaaamiiee, this is Miss Tinny callin, you're fired!! I don't need help, so you're fiiiired" click! Again, the next day we got a call from the woman who hired us. This time she explained that we didn't work for Miss Tinny, so therefore she couldn't fire us, and that she was begging us to keep doing the job. This time she also asked Miss Tinny's son to speak to us, and he convinced us to try it again.
We arrived at Miss Tinny's house on time, ready to do the job. We got her dinner and ready for bed. We watched her take her pills and made sure she had everything she needed before we headed home. Well you know what happened when we arrived....yes, another "Daaaaamie, Oh Daaaammmiee, it me Miss Tinny callin. You're fired, I have decided that I don't want any help, so you're fired" click!
Well you can only get fired from a job a few times before you start to feel like maybe it's not the right job for you. We had reached our limit. We talked to the lady who hired us, explained that it is just uncomfortable to go there when she obviously doesn't want us there, and that maybe there is someone out there who would better suit Miss Tinny. We felt bad, but what can you do?
We never saw Miss Tinny again. I often think about her, and Zeb knows the story by heart. He laughs so hard when I do the voice of Miss Tinny on the answering machine, telling Daaaammmie she's fiiiired!!
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
A day in July!
Today we all spent most of the day at the landlord tenant board. Not exactly a fun thing to do during summer vacation but you gotta do what you gotta do.
We filed against our landlord because he, over the course of 8 months, didn't want to do what it took to lower the humidity level in the house (it was well over 70% most days, even in the dead of winter, and it should be below 50%) and to stop the mold from growing. He didn't seem to think it was a problem for us to pay him rent every month to live in a house that stunk to high heaven. I couldn't stand it any further and so we moved. We are looking for him to pay our moving costs as well as to replace our moldy couch, I think it's pretty reasonable.
The landlord tenant board works in a very easy, straight forward way. You enter the building by 9:30 sign in and then you all shuffle into a room to hear the chairman (no judge here) to open the morning with her/his remarks regarding the day, then you hear from the mediator who tries to convince you to come and try to work things out before you get heard by the chairmen, and without any mess, and then you hear from a woman who is there to help tenants who have become behind in rent, or to help landlords with tenants who are behind in rent and or utilities. It is all quite civilized. After all this is done you leave the room and go about whatever it is that you have opted to do. Damie and I opted for mediation.
We wait our turn, trying to keep Zeb busy and quiet. This is not a quick situation by any means, it seems most people opt for this first. I really hoped that we could just mediate it and get on with our day. Finally, after a almost 2 hr wait it's our turn. We are escorted into a very large room, the floor is white and black checkers and there are floor to ceiling windows on one side. We all sit around a table and wait for the mediator to take all the paperwork information from us. Then we all begin to discuss the issues. The mediator is not exactly interested in looking at all the evidence but rather to come to the conclusion that we both have a bit of ground to stand on and that we should just all call it even steven and go on with our day. I am not interested in that. Nope, not for one second am I going to let someone get away with this, not to them go and turn around and rent it to someone else....I wouldn't be able to look myself in the mirror if I didn't get the board to force him to clean it up before renting it again. Ever time Damie or I try to talk our previous landlord interrupts us, or makes car noises with his mouth. Yep, your read that right, he made car noises....and the mediator said nothing. So, we stopped mediation at that point and went to get an adjournment so that we could go to the trouble to have witnesses come and testify that, yes the house stunk to high frickin heaven.
We go to see the chairman, who is sitting behind a fold out table and doesn't seem to have a great deal to do at the moment. We ask if we can have an adjournment and she says to us that since we filed it is very unusual to receive an adjournment. She suggests that we first go talk to a legal advisor who is in the building to help tenants, and then come back when we have done that. She also asks us if we had attempted mediation to which we explained that the landlord was making car noises and we decided at that point that mediation was not going to work. Well she then went up one side and down the other on the PL....telling him that that type of behaviour will not be tolerated in her chamber and that it was very inappropriate for him to do that in mediation. Yeah, one small victory for us. Off to legal assistance we go.
After waiting more than an hour for the legal assistant to become free we finally get to talk to her. She goes through the evidence we had (which included a mold test including a air test, pictures of our moldy and humidity damaged furniture, and a list of all the times we talked to him regarding the mold) She told us that the mold report was not a strong piece of evidence, unless the person who conducted the test was there to testify, and then went on to explain that without witnesses we didn't have much of a case. We knew this after mediation, and that is why we wanted an adjournment. She then went on to tell us that we were supposed to come ready to go, and that it was very unlikely that the chairman would grant an adjournment. We decided to take our chances.
Back into see the chairman, who was even less busy than before. She smiled and started right in asking what we had decided to do. I told her we wanted to go ahead with the request to adjourn it, and then I held my breath. She granted it, and now we get to subpoena people who entered our house during those 8 months and smelled what we smelled. Yeah for us!!
I hate all this, but you know what, no one should have to pay to live somewhere that has a health issue like mold and smelled so bad that my mother could smell it on our luggage when we went to see her in May. I pay good money for rent, not to stink.
We filed against our landlord because he, over the course of 8 months, didn't want to do what it took to lower the humidity level in the house (it was well over 70% most days, even in the dead of winter, and it should be below 50%) and to stop the mold from growing. He didn't seem to think it was a problem for us to pay him rent every month to live in a house that stunk to high heaven. I couldn't stand it any further and so we moved. We are looking for him to pay our moving costs as well as to replace our moldy couch, I think it's pretty reasonable.
The landlord tenant board works in a very easy, straight forward way. You enter the building by 9:30 sign in and then you all shuffle into a room to hear the chairman (no judge here) to open the morning with her/his remarks regarding the day, then you hear from the mediator who tries to convince you to come and try to work things out before you get heard by the chairmen, and without any mess, and then you hear from a woman who is there to help tenants who have become behind in rent, or to help landlords with tenants who are behind in rent and or utilities. It is all quite civilized. After all this is done you leave the room and go about whatever it is that you have opted to do. Damie and I opted for mediation.
We wait our turn, trying to keep Zeb busy and quiet. This is not a quick situation by any means, it seems most people opt for this first. I really hoped that we could just mediate it and get on with our day. Finally, after a almost 2 hr wait it's our turn. We are escorted into a very large room, the floor is white and black checkers and there are floor to ceiling windows on one side. We all sit around a table and wait for the mediator to take all the paperwork information from us. Then we all begin to discuss the issues. The mediator is not exactly interested in looking at all the evidence but rather to come to the conclusion that we both have a bit of ground to stand on and that we should just all call it even steven and go on with our day. I am not interested in that. Nope, not for one second am I going to let someone get away with this, not to them go and turn around and rent it to someone else....I wouldn't be able to look myself in the mirror if I didn't get the board to force him to clean it up before renting it again. Ever time Damie or I try to talk our previous landlord interrupts us, or makes car noises with his mouth. Yep, your read that right, he made car noises....and the mediator said nothing. So, we stopped mediation at that point and went to get an adjournment so that we could go to the trouble to have witnesses come and testify that, yes the house stunk to high frickin heaven.
We go to see the chairman, who is sitting behind a fold out table and doesn't seem to have a great deal to do at the moment. We ask if we can have an adjournment and she says to us that since we filed it is very unusual to receive an adjournment. She suggests that we first go talk to a legal advisor who is in the building to help tenants, and then come back when we have done that. She also asks us if we had attempted mediation to which we explained that the landlord was making car noises and we decided at that point that mediation was not going to work. Well she then went up one side and down the other on the PL....telling him that that type of behaviour will not be tolerated in her chamber and that it was very inappropriate for him to do that in mediation. Yeah, one small victory for us. Off to legal assistance we go.
After waiting more than an hour for the legal assistant to become free we finally get to talk to her. She goes through the evidence we had (which included a mold test including a air test, pictures of our moldy and humidity damaged furniture, and a list of all the times we talked to him regarding the mold) She told us that the mold report was not a strong piece of evidence, unless the person who conducted the test was there to testify, and then went on to explain that without witnesses we didn't have much of a case. We knew this after mediation, and that is why we wanted an adjournment. She then went on to tell us that we were supposed to come ready to go, and that it was very unlikely that the chairman would grant an adjournment. We decided to take our chances.
Back into see the chairman, who was even less busy than before. She smiled and started right in asking what we had decided to do. I told her we wanted to go ahead with the request to adjourn it, and then I held my breath. She granted it, and now we get to subpoena people who entered our house during those 8 months and smelled what we smelled. Yeah for us!!
I hate all this, but you know what, no one should have to pay to live somewhere that has a health issue like mold and smelled so bad that my mother could smell it on our luggage when we went to see her in May. I pay good money for rent, not to stink.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
What would you have done?
There are days that if I didn't have Zeb I just wouldn't get out of bed, and today is one of those. I don't know why, the last few days have been kind of downer days for me.
I don't really have any motivation to do anything, and if I did I don't know what I would do, it's too hot. Our pool is a balmy 87 degrees, I might as well go have a bath with those types of temps. I like a nice 90 degrees outside and the pool to be a nice 78 ish, now that's the life. I hate this heat, my body is in no condition for this heat, I can feel my hands and feet swell as I type this. Bah humbug!!
We have done about 80 percent of the unpacking now. It's been a chore I can tell you, but I am glad to be this far. The last house we lived in we weren't this far ahead until we had lived there about 6 months, so it's looking up. I need to paint two rooms, Zeb's bedroom and the office. But like I said I can't find the motivation. There are books to put away, but the movers put the book shelf downstairs instead of on the main floor and we can't seem to find the motivation to carry that thing up (it is way too heavy for me, it's made of real wood, and it weighs a ton....I should know I built it). Anyway, if the shelf was where it is supposed to be I could unpack about 4 totes, and if we had another pantry I could finish unpacking the kitchen....but that doesn't look like it's happening for awhile. I can't believe that we have actually got all the bedroom boxes put away, last time we never unpack it all, and as for the garage...well it's amazing how much room you have when you have somewhere to put it. The last place the landlord left so much of his crap in the garage we had to work around it, so there wasn't much space left. We still have the playhouse to move, which is still at the last place. Now that's a story.
When Zeb was 2.5 we went on a vacation to Cape Cod...well Provincetown for a week long Rfamily event. If you are unfamiliar with Rfamily, well it is a vacation company that was started by Rosie O'Donnell's ex Kelly and her friend Greg. They started a vacation company for gay families because they were tired of only having companies who catered to single gays, so there you have it. They usually booked cruises, but this was a land vacation that included a week of special events in one of the gayest of area's in the United States. I was our first experience with Rfamily and we enjoyed the whole week.
When we got home I got it in my mind to build Zeb a playhouse that would resemble the houses we saw while on our trip to Cape Cod. I couldn't wait to get the thing done and then have the enjoyment of watching Zeb enjoy that for years to come. Well, I finished it, it looked great, I was proud of myself, and Zeb disliked it from almost day one. He played in it for a little while until his friend (who is a girl and very afraid of bugs of all sorts) told him it was full of spiders and then there was no way we were going to get Zeb to enjoy it.
Occasionally it would get played with, whenever some child came with their parents to play at our house. They would love it for a few hours and then it would remain untouched until another child came along. We had many people comment on it, liking it, asking if we had a daycare, that sort of thing.
When we moved the last time I was determined to not leave anything I had done that you would consider property improvement behind. I spend a whole week removing the deck I build in the back yard, and also a few hours removing the walls of the playhouse. That thing was going with us, and I felt that without the walls attached it would make for easier to move. So to the new house it came, in pieces and safe and sound. It mostly lived in the garage there, except the shell which lived outside for the winter. It survived very well, and then we were going to move again.
This time we decided maybe it would be best if we sold it. I was not exactly excited about it, but agreed it might be best. So, we proceeded to put an ad up online, and also I put a little notice on facebook asking if anyone might be interested. We hoped that maybe, best case scenario someone we knew would want it and then we would know it had gone to a good home, worst case scenario we had to move it.
Well that very day we had a number of inquiries online, many people wanted it, but needing more detail and on facebook I got a message from a friend of a friend who said she was interested. We answered the questions for the inquiries online and I messaged back the lady on facebook the price I was thinking. She messaged me back the next day saying they couldn't really do that price at this time, but that they loved the playhouse. I talked to Damie about it, as what she was willing to pay was a big reduction to the price I was selling it at, but I felt like knowing who it went to meant more to me than the money, and Damie agreed with me, so we agreed to her price with a buy back clause, stating if she ever wanted to get rid of it in the future she gave us first dibs on buying it back. I thought that was a great idea, as then if we ever wanted it back and she was done with it that possibility would be there. I was happy about it. She was going to pick it up the following Sat.
We were having a garage sale that Sat so having the playhouse go the same day was a great thing, as far as I was concerned, then all I would have to worry about was getting everything packed and moved. Well a couple of days before the yard sale I get a message on facebook regarding the playhouse and the fact that she was not going to be able to pick it up that Sat could she make it for the next?
I have to tell you, my gut was telling me, don't do this. I have always made a rule about working for or doing something that involved money with friend, or people we knew. I have done it in the past, and no matter what, no matter how good of intentions, something always screws up and you end up resentful of them or they of you. I knew in my gut, actually all the way to my toes that this wasn't a good idea, but yet I didn't listen and agreed that she could pick it up the next Sat as long as she understood that we had to move that day and everything had to be gone. She agreed and there we left it.
The next week was crazy, I had so much packing to do, it was Zeb's last week of school so he was bouncing off the walls, it was hotter than the surface of the sun and our house didn't have air conditioning!! My head was spinning by the time Wed came, things were getting done, but not as quickly as I would have liked and I had so much more to do. The stress levels were rising and I was running out of steam. Then bang, another message!!
This time the message was that she was going to be unable to pick it up again this Sat and that she was sorry but her life is crazy and her husband is always having to go out of town for business at the drop of the hat and etc. etc. etc. Well was I mad!! Now on top of all the other things I had to get done, and the heat I had to try to figure out how to get the playhouse moved in two days without the additional money that we had budged on (that was going to come with selling the playhouse) and the fact that no one likes to do this without some notice. If we had a bunch of friends or family around it wouldn't be a big deal..go get a trailer, pick it up, move it, put it down, done....but we have neither so we were stuck.
Now, I have to admit that maybe I didn't handle the whole situation well, but I was at the end of my rope, my patience was shot, and I was burnt to a crisp. I was angry, I was disappointed but most of all I felt like she wanted me to understand where she was coming from and the stress she was under, but she gave us no consideration regarding the same thing. She also never gave me any options...no solutions, just I'm not taking it, now you can deal with it. I don't know, maybe other's wouldn't be angry, but I sure was.
I have gotten over it now, but we still have to get the playhouse. This weekend we are going to go rent a trailer, hopefully get someone with a pickup truck to pull that trailer, or else we will have to rent a truck too, and move that playhouse to our new place. I am not exactly happy about it all, but I would rather do this than leave it behind. When we get it here I plan on doing a whole new paint job on it, get new fancy shingles and then maybe I can sell it. I hope so, because something that nice should have a couple of kids playing in it daily!
What would you have done? How would you have reacted? What are your thought on how I reacted??
I don't really have any motivation to do anything, and if I did I don't know what I would do, it's too hot. Our pool is a balmy 87 degrees, I might as well go have a bath with those types of temps. I like a nice 90 degrees outside and the pool to be a nice 78 ish, now that's the life. I hate this heat, my body is in no condition for this heat, I can feel my hands and feet swell as I type this. Bah humbug!!
We have done about 80 percent of the unpacking now. It's been a chore I can tell you, but I am glad to be this far. The last house we lived in we weren't this far ahead until we had lived there about 6 months, so it's looking up. I need to paint two rooms, Zeb's bedroom and the office. But like I said I can't find the motivation. There are books to put away, but the movers put the book shelf downstairs instead of on the main floor and we can't seem to find the motivation to carry that thing up (it is way too heavy for me, it's made of real wood, and it weighs a ton....I should know I built it). Anyway, if the shelf was where it is supposed to be I could unpack about 4 totes, and if we had another pantry I could finish unpacking the kitchen....but that doesn't look like it's happening for awhile. I can't believe that we have actually got all the bedroom boxes put away, last time we never unpack it all, and as for the garage...well it's amazing how much room you have when you have somewhere to put it. The last place the landlord left so much of his crap in the garage we had to work around it, so there wasn't much space left. We still have the playhouse to move, which is still at the last place. Now that's a story.
When Zeb was 2.5 we went on a vacation to Cape Cod...well Provincetown for a week long Rfamily event. If you are unfamiliar with Rfamily, well it is a vacation company that was started by Rosie O'Donnell's ex Kelly and her friend Greg. They started a vacation company for gay families because they were tired of only having companies who catered to single gays, so there you have it. They usually booked cruises, but this was a land vacation that included a week of special events in one of the gayest of area's in the United States. I was our first experience with Rfamily and we enjoyed the whole week.
When we got home I got it in my mind to build Zeb a playhouse that would resemble the houses we saw while on our trip to Cape Cod. I couldn't wait to get the thing done and then have the enjoyment of watching Zeb enjoy that for years to come. Well, I finished it, it looked great, I was proud of myself, and Zeb disliked it from almost day one. He played in it for a little while until his friend (who is a girl and very afraid of bugs of all sorts) told him it was full of spiders and then there was no way we were going to get Zeb to enjoy it.
Occasionally it would get played with, whenever some child came with their parents to play at our house. They would love it for a few hours and then it would remain untouched until another child came along. We had many people comment on it, liking it, asking if we had a daycare, that sort of thing.
When we moved the last time I was determined to not leave anything I had done that you would consider property improvement behind. I spend a whole week removing the deck I build in the back yard, and also a few hours removing the walls of the playhouse. That thing was going with us, and I felt that without the walls attached it would make for easier to move. So to the new house it came, in pieces and safe and sound. It mostly lived in the garage there, except the shell which lived outside for the winter. It survived very well, and then we were going to move again.
This time we decided maybe it would be best if we sold it. I was not exactly excited about it, but agreed it might be best. So, we proceeded to put an ad up online, and also I put a little notice on facebook asking if anyone might be interested. We hoped that maybe, best case scenario someone we knew would want it and then we would know it had gone to a good home, worst case scenario we had to move it.
Well that very day we had a number of inquiries online, many people wanted it, but needing more detail and on facebook I got a message from a friend of a friend who said she was interested. We answered the questions for the inquiries online and I messaged back the lady on facebook the price I was thinking. She messaged me back the next day saying they couldn't really do that price at this time, but that they loved the playhouse. I talked to Damie about it, as what she was willing to pay was a big reduction to the price I was selling it at, but I felt like knowing who it went to meant more to me than the money, and Damie agreed with me, so we agreed to her price with a buy back clause, stating if she ever wanted to get rid of it in the future she gave us first dibs on buying it back. I thought that was a great idea, as then if we ever wanted it back and she was done with it that possibility would be there. I was happy about it. She was going to pick it up the following Sat.
We were having a garage sale that Sat so having the playhouse go the same day was a great thing, as far as I was concerned, then all I would have to worry about was getting everything packed and moved. Well a couple of days before the yard sale I get a message on facebook regarding the playhouse and the fact that she was not going to be able to pick it up that Sat could she make it for the next?
I have to tell you, my gut was telling me, don't do this. I have always made a rule about working for or doing something that involved money with friend, or people we knew. I have done it in the past, and no matter what, no matter how good of intentions, something always screws up and you end up resentful of them or they of you. I knew in my gut, actually all the way to my toes that this wasn't a good idea, but yet I didn't listen and agreed that she could pick it up the next Sat as long as she understood that we had to move that day and everything had to be gone. She agreed and there we left it.
The next week was crazy, I had so much packing to do, it was Zeb's last week of school so he was bouncing off the walls, it was hotter than the surface of the sun and our house didn't have air conditioning!! My head was spinning by the time Wed came, things were getting done, but not as quickly as I would have liked and I had so much more to do. The stress levels were rising and I was running out of steam. Then bang, another message!!
This time the message was that she was going to be unable to pick it up again this Sat and that she was sorry but her life is crazy and her husband is always having to go out of town for business at the drop of the hat and etc. etc. etc. Well was I mad!! Now on top of all the other things I had to get done, and the heat I had to try to figure out how to get the playhouse moved in two days without the additional money that we had budged on (that was going to come with selling the playhouse) and the fact that no one likes to do this without some notice. If we had a bunch of friends or family around it wouldn't be a big deal..go get a trailer, pick it up, move it, put it down, done....but we have neither so we were stuck.
Now, I have to admit that maybe I didn't handle the whole situation well, but I was at the end of my rope, my patience was shot, and I was burnt to a crisp. I was angry, I was disappointed but most of all I felt like she wanted me to understand where she was coming from and the stress she was under, but she gave us no consideration regarding the same thing. She also never gave me any options...no solutions, just I'm not taking it, now you can deal with it. I don't know, maybe other's wouldn't be angry, but I sure was.
I have gotten over it now, but we still have to get the playhouse. This weekend we are going to go rent a trailer, hopefully get someone with a pickup truck to pull that trailer, or else we will have to rent a truck too, and move that playhouse to our new place. I am not exactly happy about it all, but I would rather do this than leave it behind. When we get it here I plan on doing a whole new paint job on it, get new fancy shingles and then maybe I can sell it. I hope so, because something that nice should have a couple of kids playing in it daily!
What would you have done? How would you have reacted? What are your thought on how I reacted??
Friday, July 13, 2012
Ostriches
Who is Joe Paterno? Well, surprising enough, he is just like so many people in this world. He was in it for himself, and didn't really want to know about or acknowledge anything that interfered with that!
If I have said it once, I have said it a million times, our society really can't commit to how we really feel about child sexual abuse. Yes, I think we are mostly universal when it comes to hearing about cases of childhood sexual abuse, most of us are appalled! I can't say all of us, as there are some sick perverted bastards out there that like the idea, but they really are few and far between. What is most surprising about childhood sexual abuse is that we are not all applaud when it comes to those we know and love. When childhood sexual assault happens in our back doors, or basements, our upstairs bedrooms we change how we feel about it, and for some reason in so many cases we deny it's existence for fear that it will change our perfect lives. Joe was no different, he had his life and this crazy shit would really throw a wrench into it, so instead he whipped his hands of it.
Joe knew and admired Jerry Sandusky for years. He had him as part of his coaching staff for more years than not, and admired what he could do out on the field with those players. He also knew that what Jerry did for the team made him look better. Yes, it's true, Joe really was proud of what he was able to do at Penn State, and he enjoyed being revered for it. Who wouldn't right, we all want to be as successful at our jobs as possible. He wanted to be the best, and NOTHING was going to come in the way of that, not even a bunch of kids who unfortunately came in contact with Jerry...not even them.
Joe knew what Jerry was up to, he knew for years. Did he care, well I'm sure he cared but not enough to put his neck and career on the line, not enough to bring all the negative attention to him and his prise winning team, not enough to say that what Jerry was doing was wrong and he needed to stop him. No, Joe was like so many others, when it hits home and there are real consequences it is easier to turn a blind eye, not see it for what it truly is, not believe it to be all that bad, not to do a damn thing about it. He looked the other way and hoped that it would someday go away. He, and a group of his cronies decided to give Jerry an early retirement, just so that when the shit hit the fan, which they knew it would some day, it would not be in the showers at Penn, but instead it would be in the basement at Jerry's house. Joe hoped upon hope that the whole thing would disappear and no one would be the wiser. Well, as it all turns out, he was wrong because the shit hit the fan and it splattered all over Joe and his life size statue!
No man, no matter what they accomplish in their life is honorable when they are this dishonorable behind closed doors. Does his legacy mean anything today, well not for me it doesn't. I can't say I knew much about Joe Paterno before the story broke a year or so ago, not much more than he was a winning coach for Penn State, but what I know about Joe Paterno today is that when a group of young boys needed him to be honorable despite the personal cost to him, he turned his back on them and forgot about it! Is that all that matters in the Joe Paterno story, well yes it is. There was so many opportunities that presented themselves to Joe to take away from his cowardliness, but yet he still denied the truth, right to the bitter end. I feel bad for his wife and his 5 kids and his many grand kids. They now have to live with all the fall out. It's a shame really!
I am sick of all this. I am sick and tired about hearing about innocent children being abused at the hands of the people who are supposed to be there to keep them safe, and even when others know about the insanity of the abuse, they do nothing. Haven't you had enough of this too. The papers are full of story about this, from Priests to teachers, to boy scout leaders to coaches. Where does it end. I have a son and I can tell you one thing, if and when he is ever in a position where he will be alone with anyone like this, I will be there. There is no way I will put my trust in anyone because if I do, he will lose. It's time we start to take a stand against this, and change what happens to these guys. I think that the abuser should do so much time that they actually never see the light of day, but those that help cover it up, or like in Joe's case just never tell the right people about it, well they should be sitting in the cell right beside the abuser...or better yet maybe they should share the bunk with him. I am tired of our children not being safe in the very places they should be. I am sick and tired of society changing their minds when it comes to childhood sexual assault. It is assault people, no different than if some stranger drug you daughter at a party and gang rapped her in a vacant house, it's the same thing just the person rapping isn't a stranger. It's time we all take a stand on this and force stronger laws. Isn't if amazing that in many cases those who drive drunk on their third offence do more time than someone who, as there coach, rapped their players over and over again for years. Doesn't make sense to me.
What I would love to know is did Joe ever leave any of his sons or grandsons alone with Jerry?? I bet he didn't!
If I have said it once, I have said it a million times, our society really can't commit to how we really feel about child sexual abuse. Yes, I think we are mostly universal when it comes to hearing about cases of childhood sexual abuse, most of us are appalled! I can't say all of us, as there are some sick perverted bastards out there that like the idea, but they really are few and far between. What is most surprising about childhood sexual abuse is that we are not all applaud when it comes to those we know and love. When childhood sexual assault happens in our back doors, or basements, our upstairs bedrooms we change how we feel about it, and for some reason in so many cases we deny it's existence for fear that it will change our perfect lives. Joe was no different, he had his life and this crazy shit would really throw a wrench into it, so instead he whipped his hands of it.
Joe knew and admired Jerry Sandusky for years. He had him as part of his coaching staff for more years than not, and admired what he could do out on the field with those players. He also knew that what Jerry did for the team made him look better. Yes, it's true, Joe really was proud of what he was able to do at Penn State, and he enjoyed being revered for it. Who wouldn't right, we all want to be as successful at our jobs as possible. He wanted to be the best, and NOTHING was going to come in the way of that, not even a bunch of kids who unfortunately came in contact with Jerry...not even them.
Joe knew what Jerry was up to, he knew for years. Did he care, well I'm sure he cared but not enough to put his neck and career on the line, not enough to bring all the negative attention to him and his prise winning team, not enough to say that what Jerry was doing was wrong and he needed to stop him. No, Joe was like so many others, when it hits home and there are real consequences it is easier to turn a blind eye, not see it for what it truly is, not believe it to be all that bad, not to do a damn thing about it. He looked the other way and hoped that it would someday go away. He, and a group of his cronies decided to give Jerry an early retirement, just so that when the shit hit the fan, which they knew it would some day, it would not be in the showers at Penn, but instead it would be in the basement at Jerry's house. Joe hoped upon hope that the whole thing would disappear and no one would be the wiser. Well, as it all turns out, he was wrong because the shit hit the fan and it splattered all over Joe and his life size statue!
No man, no matter what they accomplish in their life is honorable when they are this dishonorable behind closed doors. Does his legacy mean anything today, well not for me it doesn't. I can't say I knew much about Joe Paterno before the story broke a year or so ago, not much more than he was a winning coach for Penn State, but what I know about Joe Paterno today is that when a group of young boys needed him to be honorable despite the personal cost to him, he turned his back on them and forgot about it! Is that all that matters in the Joe Paterno story, well yes it is. There was so many opportunities that presented themselves to Joe to take away from his cowardliness, but yet he still denied the truth, right to the bitter end. I feel bad for his wife and his 5 kids and his many grand kids. They now have to live with all the fall out. It's a shame really!
I am sick of all this. I am sick and tired about hearing about innocent children being abused at the hands of the people who are supposed to be there to keep them safe, and even when others know about the insanity of the abuse, they do nothing. Haven't you had enough of this too. The papers are full of story about this, from Priests to teachers, to boy scout leaders to coaches. Where does it end. I have a son and I can tell you one thing, if and when he is ever in a position where he will be alone with anyone like this, I will be there. There is no way I will put my trust in anyone because if I do, he will lose. It's time we start to take a stand against this, and change what happens to these guys. I think that the abuser should do so much time that they actually never see the light of day, but those that help cover it up, or like in Joe's case just never tell the right people about it, well they should be sitting in the cell right beside the abuser...or better yet maybe they should share the bunk with him. I am tired of our children not being safe in the very places they should be. I am sick and tired of society changing their minds when it comes to childhood sexual assault. It is assault people, no different than if some stranger drug you daughter at a party and gang rapped her in a vacant house, it's the same thing just the person rapping isn't a stranger. It's time we all take a stand on this and force stronger laws. Isn't if amazing that in many cases those who drive drunk on their third offence do more time than someone who, as there coach, rapped their players over and over again for years. Doesn't make sense to me.
What I would love to know is did Joe ever leave any of his sons or grandsons alone with Jerry?? I bet he didn't!
Friday, July 6, 2012
What did I learn this week
What did I learn this week?
* That moving in the summer blows chunks. It's hard on the temperament, but worse on the hair!
* That having a 7 yr old with ADHD, and moving in the summer is way beyond difficult.
* That swimming at all times of day, makes everyone happier.
* Doing a cannon ball at midnight sure makes me feel good about my day!!
* I am beginning to really believe in the whole "global warming" idea. What is up with this...have we moved to the surface of the sun and no one told me??
* Don't trust anything or anyone to be what it appears to be!
* Air conditioning was made by God himself!
* I love Damie and Zeb more than life it's self. Well maybe not more than life, but life sure would be a whole lot less happy without them in it!
* Don't trust that anyone will actually do what they say they are going to do....not even family!
* There is nothing better to eat for dinner than a nice big freezing cold salad on an extremely hot night!
* Living in a nice clean home sure makes waking up so much nicer!
* Just how clogged up my nose actually was....now it is clear as a bell!
* Summer is sure easier to take when you have a nice pool out back!
* That life just doesn't get much better than this!
* It is very true, God does not give me more than I can handle!
What did you learn this week?
* That moving in the summer blows chunks. It's hard on the temperament, but worse on the hair!
* That having a 7 yr old with ADHD, and moving in the summer is way beyond difficult.
* That swimming at all times of day, makes everyone happier.
* Doing a cannon ball at midnight sure makes me feel good about my day!!
* I am beginning to really believe in the whole "global warming" idea. What is up with this...have we moved to the surface of the sun and no one told me??
* Don't trust anything or anyone to be what it appears to be!
* Air conditioning was made by God himself!
* I love Damie and Zeb more than life it's self. Well maybe not more than life, but life sure would be a whole lot less happy without them in it!
* Don't trust that anyone will actually do what they say they are going to do....not even family!
* There is nothing better to eat for dinner than a nice big freezing cold salad on an extremely hot night!
* Living in a nice clean home sure makes waking up so much nicer!
* Just how clogged up my nose actually was....now it is clear as a bell!
* Summer is sure easier to take when you have a nice pool out back!
* That life just doesn't get much better than this!
* It is very true, God does not give me more than I can handle!
What did you learn this week?
Sunday, July 1, 2012
We are home!!
Happy Canada Day!!
It's Sunday, and we are all moved in. Moved in and unpacked are two very different things, unpacked will take a bit of work but I know we will get there. All I am happy for is that we all slept in clean sheets after having hot showers, with clean towels on the first night!! I have to say that is one step up from the last time we moved, last time we had a gigantic fight when we couldn't find the towels to shower, and we needed to shower!! We are all happy to be here and not there anymore!!
So, for the most part the move went pretty well. Not all my plans turned out the way I had planned, but the things that didn't work out taught me new lessons about what not to do next time. It's funny the things you can't learn. I discovered that I do have a breaking point, which was reached after cleaning a very dirty and moldy refridgerator for 7 hrs on Friday.
When Damie and I moved out of our last house, well the one before the one we just moved out of, we left our fridge behind by mistake. We had a fridge and so did the house we were living in so we were going to use our fridge in the garage as a roll over fridge. Anyway, long story short, I was at the new house, then the old house then the new house and Damie was all over as well and when we discovered the fridge was left behind we called the former landlord asking to re-enter the house to retrieve the fridge. Our call was not returned for a week at which time we were told there was no fridge left behind, and we were out of luck. So, we were out of a fridge and needed one when moving into our current rental. Damie's co-worker had a fridge she was willing to part with for 80 dollars so she jumped on that and made plans to pick it up a couple of days before we moved. I asked her to look at the fridge before hand, but she didn't and hence we were left with a very dirty moldy fridge that I had to deal with before the moving day. I was not impressed.
After cleaning a fridge for 7 hrs I had enough and went home, waited for Damie to walk through the door and tell her that Zeb and I were leaving and staying in a hotel for the night. I didn't know where to go, and I wasn't staying one more night in a non air conditioned house after my miserable day...so off we went. Zeb and I went and got a bite to eat, checked into the hotel, got our bathing suits on and off we went for a two hour swim. We went to bed, woke up in the morning to a full free breakfast, had a couple of cups of coffee and then went back to the pool for an hour. When Zeb and I finally arrived at the house, Damie and the movers were here unloading. I was happy, rested and ready to boogie.
We got through the whole thing without fighting, without tears, and without having anything really important broken. What more can you ask for, right!
Our pool is filling, we have central air.....life is good.
It's Sunday, and we are all moved in. Moved in and unpacked are two very different things, unpacked will take a bit of work but I know we will get there. All I am happy for is that we all slept in clean sheets after having hot showers, with clean towels on the first night!! I have to say that is one step up from the last time we moved, last time we had a gigantic fight when we couldn't find the towels to shower, and we needed to shower!! We are all happy to be here and not there anymore!!
So, for the most part the move went pretty well. Not all my plans turned out the way I had planned, but the things that didn't work out taught me new lessons about what not to do next time. It's funny the things you can't learn. I discovered that I do have a breaking point, which was reached after cleaning a very dirty and moldy refridgerator for 7 hrs on Friday.
When Damie and I moved out of our last house, well the one before the one we just moved out of, we left our fridge behind by mistake. We had a fridge and so did the house we were living in so we were going to use our fridge in the garage as a roll over fridge. Anyway, long story short, I was at the new house, then the old house then the new house and Damie was all over as well and when we discovered the fridge was left behind we called the former landlord asking to re-enter the house to retrieve the fridge. Our call was not returned for a week at which time we were told there was no fridge left behind, and we were out of luck. So, we were out of a fridge and needed one when moving into our current rental. Damie's co-worker had a fridge she was willing to part with for 80 dollars so she jumped on that and made plans to pick it up a couple of days before we moved. I asked her to look at the fridge before hand, but she didn't and hence we were left with a very dirty moldy fridge that I had to deal with before the moving day. I was not impressed.
After cleaning a fridge for 7 hrs I had enough and went home, waited for Damie to walk through the door and tell her that Zeb and I were leaving and staying in a hotel for the night. I didn't know where to go, and I wasn't staying one more night in a non air conditioned house after my miserable day...so off we went. Zeb and I went and got a bite to eat, checked into the hotel, got our bathing suits on and off we went for a two hour swim. We went to bed, woke up in the morning to a full free breakfast, had a couple of cups of coffee and then went back to the pool for an hour. When Zeb and I finally arrived at the house, Damie and the movers were here unloading. I was happy, rested and ready to boogie.
We got through the whole thing without fighting, without tears, and without having anything really important broken. What more can you ask for, right!
Our pool is filling, we have central air.....life is good.
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