TOO MUCH!

We want to blame, we need to pin it on something, someone, some lack of something, too much of something, not enough of something.  We need to blame.

We need answers, we hear from neighbours, fathers, brothers, friends.  Interviews continue and continue until you just have to turn it off, your brain, your TV. 

Too much, sadness, sorrow, fear, hate, anger, distrust, tears, heartache, tears, tears,tears, I can't move past the sadness.

Not enough, control, understanding, answers, questions, love, honesty, stability, health care, controls, controls, controls.  Armed guards.  Metal detectors.

I need to move past this, I need to move on.  I can't look at my son and see him and know anyone, anywhere could take him out....only I can do that, as I am the one who brought him in.

God was with them, as he is with everyone, praying at school does not change that. 

Is he to blame, yes, are we, yes, is the government, yes, is the society we live in, yes, social media, yes, we are all to blame.  WE are only as good as our best and as bad as our worst.  WE all own it.  WE all play a role, we all can change it....but instead we sit and say "now is not the time" then when?

I pray for those children, their families, their loved ones, their friends.  I pray for those who survived, witnessed, and will have to move on with the images in their brains forever....God please be with those who lived, they have so much to hold now. 

I am thankful there weren't more.  I am thankful more lived than died, I am thankful I have a little boy to go and pick up from school.  I am thankful that I now understand just how precious every single moment is, and will value it in a way I never did before.

I will never forget, I will never let this go, I want change!!