Stop stressing!!

I struggle, with so many things but one big one is how much or how little to do for my child.

I don't work.  From long before we conceived our son we had made the decision that someone should be home with him before he went to school and after he came home.  We really were thinking that one parent would stay home until he started full time school, and then look at both of us working, but then when we discovered that he had ADHD and needed so much more than a kid without ADHD we decided that maybe it would be best to have someone home until he was able to manage better.  That day hasn't come yet, however I struggle with so many things because of it.

I know as parents we want to give our kids so much more than we ever had.  To me that always meant more time, more interest, more attention.  But as time has gone by, and with the invention of facebook I am realizing that I am not giving nearly what others give their children and I struggle with that. 

We don't have a lot of money, it isn't easy surviving on one income these days, the world has built itself on two incomes, but we manage to make ends meet and not depend on anyone else.  Sure, we go with out a great deal.  We don't get the opportunity to go on big family trips, we don't get to buy the car or home of our dreams, and we certainly don't buy all the newest gadgets.  There are times that I feel really bad, he doesn't get all of the "things" that his peers get, but then I remind myself of the sacrifice we have made for him.  I would love to go and work away from the house, it would be a nice change for me, and I would be able to buy him things that we could only dream of buying him now.  I would make friends of my own, and have somewhere to go every day.  I would really like that, and know so many who wouldn't know what to do with themselves if they didn't go out to work everyday.  Then there are those that never see their kids but they can buy them all the ipods, ipads, and iphones that any one 8 yr old can handle.  Yes, they can fill their lives with plenty of "things" that I could never buy, but really is it getting those kids anywhere.

When I am feeling bad about the lack of things and places to visit in my sons life, I remind myself that he will grow up and be able to say that his mom was there for him for all the important things in his life.  I will never miss a dance recital, an event at school, a heartbreaking conversation with the girl who will break his heart for the first time.  I will be there for all of the moments, maybe he won't be able to call me on his iphone, but he will be able to walk into the kitchen and sit down and talk to me.  No, he may never have an ipad, but really, does he really need one?  I grew up without one, and somehow I managed.  

I give working mothers a great deal of credit.  I can't imagine doing all the things I do a day and work a full time job on top of that.  I think good for you if you can do it.  I know that if I tried I would not do a good job at anything...and I want to be good at one thing, raising my child. 

I think we really should sit down and think about what is really important in life, in our child's life.  All the gadgets, all the vacations, all the stuff isn't going to improve their existence, but being there, really being present is what will.  I don't think any mother, or father for that matter should feel bad about working full time.  I think that it's just as important as staying home with your kids.  What I am saying is don't stress about all the stuff.  Don't think that you have to fill their lives with all kinds of things, all they ever really want is you.  Yes, maybe they will ask for all that stuff, but really, if it means you work two jobs and never see them in order to get all that, don't.  They will thank you for it later, believe me!