Yesterday we took Zeb to see a surgeon at a hospital a couple of hours away from us, this is his second time seeing him and if you want to know why you can read it here . We finally got told that he will have to have surgery, but not for a year or so, as the wait time is that long. Yes, we have free health care here, but it isn't exactly fast. I am not complaining, this is an elective surgery and required surgeries should take precedent.
After seeing the Dr. we did a little shopping. You can't go to a different city and not spend some money right. We bought Zeb a couple of pairs of shoes, he has worn out his old ones, they went into the garbage. I can't wait until he can tie his own shoes, it will make the selection much better, but until then we are stuck with ugly Velcro ties. UGG!
By this time we were all starving so we headed out to a restaurant that we like to treat ourselves to a couple of times a year. There isn't one where we live so it's nice to experience different things when you can. I can't tell you just how hungry I was.
We all were seated, the waiter came and took our drink order and told us to help ourselves, it's a buffet and so off we went to the salad/soup bar. Damie and Zeb made it back to the table before me, as I was having a conversation with an elderly man about what direction I should be going. Seems that the regulars to this place have decided that each row of the buffet has directions....only in their head mind you, but hey we should all know this right. I was very polite, apologetic and corrected my direction right away, but honestly I was thinking in my head, you old people really should be a little more flexible. You would think that by the time they got to be that age, will all that free time, that they wouldn't sweat the small stuff, but no, the direction you fill your plate is something that MUST BE FOLLOWED OR ELSE THERE IS ANARCHY!! Enough about the directional happy senior citizen, I am at a nice place with my family, I should just go back to my table and enjoy my family. So that's what I attempted to do.
You have to realize, this was a Wednesday, there is a 20% discount at lunch for all senior citizens that can show prof of age before ordering, so obviously the restaurant is full of old people. This is never a problem for me, I like the elderly, I always have. From a very early age I have got on well with the elderly. I appreciate their wisdom, I love hearing their stories, I kind have always put them on a level above myself, as I think they should be cherished. Well by the end of my meal I was not exactly feeling so warm and fuzzy about these elderly people.
Next to our table there was a table with two couples. They were obviously senior citizens, and at first glance you think, that's so cute two couples out for a nice mid afternoon lunch/dinner, I am happy they can still enjoy the togetherness. Well, that feeling didn't stay long for me. As I was settling in to my lunch I noticed that the conversation that the two couple at the next table were having was floating over to our table.
I am not normally a eves dropper, but this was not avoidable. It was like their voices slowly got louder with their conversation, I don't think it did, I think it was just that what they were talking about caught my attention.
One of the men at the table were describing how big the Gay Pride parade was in Toronto, and that for him it lasted 11 days. (I don't understand that, 11 days....I think that he might be meaning that the pride celebration may have lasted 11 days. I am thinking if the parade were to last 11 days we Gays sure outnumber the straights in this country). Anyway, he goes on to say something else regarding the Gays in Toronto and then he follows it up with, "I think all those Gays should have to live in their own community, somewhere 900 miles north of Toronto, so we all don't have to see them or deal with them." Wow, I was sitting here with my son, trying to enjoy my meal, hearing how we should all pack up and move to no mans land somewhere out of the way so that all the straights in my country don't have to see us, work beside us, or watch us eat our lunch. Hmm. Now the question is, what does one say to a couple of extreme bigots at a nice restaurant in the middle of the afternoon, with my son sitting there? That was what Damie and I couldn't figure out. We felt like we needed to say something, but really is it worth it? Would anything we had to say be effective in this situation? Could we change their minds about Gays in a couple of word? What if this turns into a huge argument, leading to fists flying and hair pieces being torn off?? That was the real question.
Well, we didn't say anything.
I don't really know how I feel about it. I would have loved to say something, but I don't really think anything one can say to that generation would change anything. I have never thought that. What I have always thought would change people's idea's about gays is showing them how more alike we are than different. I have always thought that if we show straights that we bleed just like they do, we care about our kids education like they do, that we pretty much live the same way they do, outside of our bedroom like they do, that would be enough to show them how normal we really are. My feelings have always been that if we are decent to others, they well be decent to us (the golden rule). But that isn't always the case is it.
I don't think that everyone will ever embrace gays as being equal. That is just a pipe dream, but what I do think is that everyone needs to respect others and their differences. Can you imagine, 50 years ago there were people sitting in nice restaurants, eating their buffet food, talking about how all blacks should have their own islands and that's where all those people should be kept, out of sight out of mind. We have come a long way since then.
I feel that it is not the elderly that we have to change, but the young. I think if we raise our kids to appreciate all differences then we have done our job. I feel bad for these two couples yesterday. Having that kind of hate in your heart is just such a waste of time. I feel bad that they have not reached an understanding that it takes all kinds to make the world go around. But what I hope more than anything is that one day they are not forced into a care facility where their primary care giver is a gay man. I hope that one day they are not completely dependent on that gay man to be their comforter, their caregiver, the person who bathes them, changes them, gives them hugs when they need it, and changes their diapers. I sure hope that never happens, but if it does will they still want that person to go 900 miles north of Toronto, where they can be out of sight and out of mind? Hmm!
That's a hard one.I think I might have said something on my way out like, "Wow, I really disagree with the topic of your conversation but I was raised to respect my elders, so...enjoy that lunch!"
ReplyDeleteBut, you know...you never know how some people will react and you do have your child to consider.
A tough decision.
If they're elderly, most of my older gay friends tend to turn a deaf ear to such a conversation, stating that some people are beyond trying to educate. My younger friends however, tend to be a bit more vocal.
ReplyDeleteI on the other hand, feel very protective of friends and would feel the need to say something along the lines of 'some people moan about getting respect but aren't willing to extend that same courtesy to others.' But that's just me. I can never let ignorance of any kind, just slide.
I think that in the end, it's all about the individual. And I know that even at the age of 10, Spawn would have been appalled and opened up his big mouth, just like his mama.