Thank you to all twelve jurors who allowed justice to prevail, thank you to the eye witnesses who finally did the right thing and talked about what they saw to the right people, and most of all thank you to those who were violated and still found the strength to come forward and make sure the evil went away for as long as is humanly possible. Now I hope that they see fit to shut the door on him until the life has left his body, as evil like this can not be rehabilitated. I applaud all that did their job correctly and did the right thing. Finally in this story we have some real hero's instead of Ostriches.
Twenty years ago I found myself in a hospital room, just days after a good friend committed suicide, and shared my story for the first time with my mother. She did not say a word, other than, well I am glad you told me. I told her how I had been abused by a family friend for many years in my childhood, and then latter by my own brother, but instead of holding me, she just said she was glad I told her. A few weeks later I shared the story with my father and at first I felt like he got it, and immediately went on my defence. His response was "what do you want me to do to him?" to which I replied, "nothing, I need to deal with this myself Dad". This did not last long, soon they were on the other side, the side of blame, and soon I realized I was all alone once again. They told me that they could not believe me, as they did not want to lose their two grandchildren, and that they needed to stay neutral. They then went on to blame me for the abuse because when I was 2 and 3 I would go into my brother's room and sleep with them when I was scared or lonely, and that lead to the sexual abuse I would endure when I was 12 by my own brother. That was what I was told, while sitting at my parents dining room table that night after being released from the psych ward after a months stay. And that is where it stayed. They never helped me in any way, they never supported me, and most importantly they never believed me.
Everyone who had ever heard my story had instantly believed me. I told my family doctor, she believed me and tried to find someone to help me deal with all that comes with sexual abuse. I told my two closest friends and they knew right off that the story was true. I told my social worker, and she instantly believed me, and I told the psychologist and he believed me. Finally, after all these people said that I did nothing wrong, that my parents were wrong, I decided that I needed to do something about it. I then decided to go and make a formal complaint with the police. This was so that if anyone should ever come forward who had also been abused by him they would have a record. This was so that I could have the authorities agree that I did nothing wrong and he was the wrong one. I wasn't sure if I was strong enough, but I was willing to give it my best shot.
I spent two afternoons in the police station telling my story to a very sincere, kindhearted police man. He let me take my time telling my story, he sympathized with me, he agreed that my abuser was pure evil, and he apologized that they weren't there for me when all this was happening. He listened to me, he wrote it all down, and he clarified the important points. He jogged my memory when necessary, and he tried to make the most accurate timeline he could. He did this all with kindness in his eyes and made sure I knew he was on my side every step of the way. After those two days and more than 6 hours my testimony was done and they would proceed from there. They would have to do their very best to investigate, but it was going to be challenging as there were no witnesses and it was 13 years ago at this point. They would do their very best, and they would start by questioning him.
He didn't work in Canada at the time, he worked overseas. He came home to his family pretty regularly so they asked my parents to let them know when he had returned to Canada so that they could then get together with him and do their investigation. My parents agreed to let them know, but as it turned out, they never did. He came back to Canada twice and they never let the police know he was home.
The police then took it to the crown and had the crown do a detailed study of the case to determine if they were willing to move forward. If the crown was willing then they could have my brother arrested at the boarder when he entered and then bring him in for questioning. Otherwise their hands were tied. After careful consideration the Crown decided that they didn't feel there was a strong enough case, do to no other witnesses other than myself, and because if they were to prosecute they would have to charge him with the offence like it was in the 70's, the time in which the crime was committed, and the fact was that back then the charge was very small. The Crown decided that because I would have to be put on the stand, and cross examined for several hours, making me once again think that I had done something wrong, just to possibly get a sentence of maybe 6 months probation just didn't seem worth it. They didn't want me to go through it, and they didn't feel that it would serve anyone of us. He would just win again in their minds. They felt bad, so bad that the police officer that informed me of the crowns decision had tears in his eyes, and vowed to keep his eye on him for the rest of his life. He hugged me, and wanted me to know that he believed me, and that it should never have happened to me!
I was left with nothing at the end of it. I told my story, I couldn't see him stand trial for what he did, so I was left without any real justice. A few months later, after being interviewed by the victims compensation board, I was awarded a sum of money to show me that the government believed me, and totally supported me, both financially and emotionally. I was at least given that, but it was small in comparison to having my parents believe me, but that would never happen.
I am so proud of those who dug down and found the strength to take this guy on, and to prosecute him to the full strenght of the law. I am proud of those who survived his brutality, and came out the other side stronger people, who stand up for themselves and told the world, "he did this and we will not stand for it". I am proud that the jurors were brave and did the right thing. I am grateful that all those involved can go to bed tonight knowing that this piece of evil is off the streets forever!
The true test of honor is what you do when no one else is watching!!
You did the right thing in speaking up, not many people have the courage to do so. When counselling kids, some as young as four, I've found that the lack of parents willing to believe their children, stems from their own guilt at not having prevented it in the first place.
ReplyDeleteAfter my friend and I spoke about our respective abuses, she went on to prosecute her abuser 20 years after it happened and in that instance justice was served.
If only more people were able to speak up so that the perpetrators of these crimes, finally pay for what they did.