There certainly are times that I feel like I am the only reasonable person within a 1000 mile radius.
There is so much crap going on right now, I don't even know where to start.
I will start with the easier of the stuff. Who leaves their child at Chuck E cheese and forgets about them until the next frigging day??
I ask you, what mother with any common sense would let their child play at Chuck E cheese and not feel the need to scrub that child clean before bed? I can maybe get that they had lots of kids, and that maybe they thought someone else was bringing her home, but really, does no one tuck this child into bed at night?
When my son goes to bed I go into his room, tuck him in and kiss him. Before I go to bed I go in and tuck him in, turn off lights (if Damie hasn't already done so), I kiss him on the cheek and off to bed I go. The dog even goes into his room before she goes into her crate to make sure he is there and all is well.
I don't really know what bothers me more, that this poor child was left behind, or that no one cares enough to tuck her in at night. Both breaks my heart equally!
I think sometimes that there are people who just shouldn't breed!!
Now onto the case of Tori Staffer.
I read the testimony given today by Terri-Lynne McClintic, who has been found guilty of first degree murder in regards to this case and is currently doing time.
The testimony literally made me sick to my stomach. I had to leave the computer and go to the bathroom.
Who does things like this to a child, anybody really, but it is just unimaginable when it deals with a child.
This is what I think, and this of course in only my opinion, I think if you run with the wolves you should die with the wolves. However in this case an innocent child lost her life because you decided to let these types of people into yours. Seems to me, if you have a kid you no longer have a right to be addicted to drugs. Seems to me, that once you take on that responsibility you then lose the right to not seek treatment and do everything possible to get yourself in shape and that if you just cannot get yourself off you must forfeit the child for their own well being. Again, some people should just never breed!!
This does not take anything away from the people who did this heinous act. They are sick mother $%^&*()'s and should be raped and beaten on the head with a hammer until they are dead. Just for the record, it is times like this that I am all for the death penalty to come back to Canada. These people are without certain basic human qualities and are not capable of knowing right from wrong. They are both menace's to society and nothing will ever change that!!
Gay people are constantly criticized for raising children. If I have heard once I have heard a thousand times that no gay person has any business raising children. Well you know what, those gay people have to jump through hoops to get a child because they really want them!! They actually take the job seriously, and hence do the very best they can and fill those children's lives will more love than they thought was ever imaginable. Breeders can have kids, for the most part just by breathing. Oops, there's another mouth to feed. Easy peazy!! Those that have to work at it, actually want them and do right by them.
It sickens me to think of the evil out there just waiting for the next opportunity. It is such mindless insanity. No wonder I can't let my kid out of my site for a second!
My rant is offically complete!
Now onto more personal things.
For the past few years I have been kind of left out of the life of a friend of mine. She and I have been friends since I was 15, at one point it was like we were family. Than we both found our significant others, had kids and life got busy. For the past 6 yrs I have seen her at her kids birthday party, at my kids birthday party, and then at some point during Christmas, except last year when we exchanged the kids presents in March.
I don't think that is so unusual, except that the only time I really hear from her is when she needs something. You know, can my kid come to your house after school for a while because I have a Dr appointment and might be late picking the kid up from school. Sure, no problem. Or do you mind watching my kid on Sat. because we bought tickets to see the concert at Ceasars and our babysitter is sick. Sure, no problem.
After a couple of years of that I started asking for the same types of favors. Not to get even or anything, but to rather let her know that it can go both ways and to never feel like it wasn't something she could do because I don't ask back. Sometimes I think people don't ask for favors if you don't ask them for them. I didn't want her to feel that way, so I started asking.
Three years ago I told her that I missed spending time with her, and that I wished that I could hear from her more often and not just when she needed something.
At first she got all defensive, and then the next day she called and said that she understood what I was saying and that it was true. She said it was unintentional, and that she didn't realize it until I pointed it out. She asked me to go have lunch and that was the end of it.
Since then I have asked her to this and that with me, but she is always too busy. She does alot with her family and for a while she was busy every weekend with them. I think that's great, family is very important and although I don't have a family like that I totally respect and envy her a bit for that relationship.
Last year I talked to her again about wanting to spend time with her, and that I missed it. I said that it didn't feel like she really wanted to be friends any more. She told me I was being "high schoolish" and that she doesn't have time to spend with anyone. She told me not to take it personally, that she was just so busy with life that there was no time for anything else. At that point I decided to take what I am given and be glad in it!
Well, yesterday I took my kid to the mall to see a pirate magician and while I was walking down the mall to the show I ran into my friend. She was with another friend of hers that I have met on a few occasions, such as her kids birthday parties.
You could cut the tension with a knife. I knew how I was feeling, and I could tell she was not at all comfortable with the fact that here we all were.
We all talked nicely, my kid told her that he was meeting a friend at the show and didn't want to be late. He asked her if she remembered his friend, and she said yes, and then off we went.
I wasn't 10 steps away before the tears started.
Damie knew right away what was happening and put her arm on my back. She told me how sorry she was that that had just happened and that she felt so bad for me.
I was a mess. Nothing like walking down the mall with tears streaming down you face uncontrollably.
This was all I could take. I had just got past the whole episode with my family during the death of my father and now one more person shows me how little I mean to them.
It is very hard not to go to "what's wrong with me, why does no one chose me?" I feel like I am just an island in a sea of diarrhea!!
I pulled it together, put on a happy face for my kid, and joined the rest of the group at the show. The day went fine, but it never went far from my thoughts.
She and I have a history. She knows all about me, all my secrets. She was there when I went through some of the darkest of days, she was there when I needed a shoulder, long before Damie was in the picture. She was the sister I never had. In high school I spent so much time at her house her mom started to wonder if I had a place to live. I saw her through nursing school, helped her pull herself back up when her professor was miserable to her and she started to wonder if she had picked the right career. I was there when she got married, her maid of honor.
Watching it all dissolve is very difficult. I really don't think I could have done any more to try to keep it, without being a nut.
I don't have any problems with her having other friends, that's what life is all about. I was on my way to join my other friends at the show. It just hurts when you are never the one she picks.
Life goes on right, and we all get over the hurts. The tears will stop eventually, and I will move on. But for now, I feel very sad!
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