Oh, gross, they're GAY!!!

Shortly after Zeb started at his new school, he received an invitation to a Halloween party.

I can't tell you how excited we were, he had only ever received one invitation, before this one, in his now three years of formal education, so we were beyond excited for him.

He was so excited when the day came for the party.  He put on his Harry Potter costume right after breakfast and was beside himself until the time came to leave.  We were glad that the party started shortly after lunch, as we wouldn't have been able to handle his excitement for much more of the day, that kid was whirling.

Damie took him to the child's home to drop him off.  So unlike me to let my child go to a complete strangers home.  My feeling was that the whole class was invited so it should be a rather safe place, as there would be far too many people around for anything sinister to happen.

Damie ran him up to the door and waited for someone to answer the ring of the door bell.  When a parent answered the door she introduced Zeb, and they welcomed them both in.

Zeb quickly joined the rest of the kids, and Damie proceeded to explain to the parents that Zeb has ADHD and that he can sometimes have impulse control problems, especially when he is as excited as he was that day. She assured them that if he got out of hand to call and we would more than understand having to come and get him.  And then she left.

When she returned to pick him up they asked her to come in and have a seat.

She immediately went to, "great, what did he do now", but that wasn't the reason they wanted to talk to her, they wanted her feed back on the use of drugs with ADHD as their son, the one who was having this party, has ADHD as well, and they were on the fence about the use of drugs.

Damie sat there for sometime, explaining what we had gone through, and how difficult of a decision it was for us regarding drugs.  She explained that we had contacted numerous professionals and finally came to the conclusion that drugs were something viable to try.

She left with Zeb in tow, both feeling good about the new friends they had made.

Zeb invited their little boy to his birthday at the beginning of Dec.  He and the boy had been playing most days at recess and had formed a nice little friendship.  Both having the same problem, I think they kind of got each other.  I can't tell you how much it makes a parent happy to hear their little boy has finally found a friend.  Not an easy feat for a child with ADHD.

A couple of days before Zeb's birthday the boys father called.  He asked if it would be okay if we took his son to the birthday party (we were having it at a bowling alley).  I said that that was no problem at all.  So we picked him up on the way.

While we were serving cake, someone asked about me.  Who was I?

I have to say, so much of our social life is dealt with by Damie.  She calls the parents, she sends the invites, she takes care of most of the social things.  I am a little shy, and less eager to talk to strangers, also I have to trust her instincts more than my own when it comes to strangers, as I tend to be overly protective of us than she is, she is more level headed.  So this is why most of the children knew Damie, but really hadn't had much to do with me.

When the question was asked, who is she?  Zeb said that's my mom!  Which was quickly followed by one of the kids saying, " you can't have two moms", which was quickly followed by his friend Will saying, very sternly "oh yes you can". 

Will has been around us for a few years now.   His whole family and ours have gotten to know each other, and his very intelligent and kind parents have taught their children that families come in all kinds of shapes and sizes and that they are all good with them.  You have to love people who teach their children to respect differences and to accept others,  no matter how different they are.

I was so proud of Will at that moment, and was eager to tell his mother what he had done, as it is things like this that dreams are made of!  She is a great mom, and she should reap the benefit's of that!!  I think if your child behaves well when you are not around, you have done a good job.

Well, the boy who had had the Halloween party, and who also has ADHD immediately said, "Nope, you can't have two moms, that isn't normal".  Well my heart sunk.  I knew this was going to become an issue.

Early in Dec, shortly after Zeb's birthday, there was a open house at the school.  All the families come, do some stupid crafts in rooms that are way too full, go listen to you kid sing some stupid songs, in gyms that are too small and crowded, and then you go home all sweaty and tired.  Well if we didn't run into the boys father while we were there. 

I was busy trying to pick up all the gold sprinkles Zeb had spilled all over someones desk, while Damie was across the room talking to the boys father.  They seemed to be having a good conversation, one that I would come into after all the sprinkles were picked up.  This was the first time his dad had ever put eyes on me.  He didn't appear to be shocked in any way.  I was feeling good about it.  I thought, we were wrong about these people, they don't have a problem with the two moms thing.  I was relieved.

I found out later that Damie had been discussing with the kids dad about getting the boys together during the Christmas break.  His dad had said that he was pretty sure the boy was going to be getting a fair amount of Lego, and sure could use Zeb's help putting it all together.  I can't tell you how happy that made me feel.  I was grateful that our unique situation had not scared them away.  I was sure that the boy had gone home from Zeb's birthday party and told them all about Zeb's two moms, but by the way his dad was acting that day, I realized we had come to the wrong conclusion and how wrong we were.

Well, Christmas came and went and there was no playdate, no phone calls, nothing.

I thought, well you know Christmas always seems like a lot of time, but it always goes by so quick they probably just lost track of the days.  No real problem.

We then find out that a few days after the open house at school the boy came to Zeb and said he could no longer be friends with him, and he has not played with Zeb during recess since.  I guess we weren't wrong after all.  I guess the boy hadn't gone home after the party and told his parents all about Zeb's two moms, I guess they didn't know about it until the open house when he met the both of us.  I guess this still happens even in 2012.

I can't say that I wasn't fully aware of this possibility before I even conceived Zeb.  I can't say I didn't give it a great deal of thought, and wondered how it would be for him, as this is not the family he chose to be in.  I did think, what if no one will be his friend simply because of Damie and I.  It was a real concern.  I can tell you I lost sleep over it.

Zeb is a strong boy, in mind and spirit.  He is proud of his family, and has never been afraid of telling anyone all about his two moms, which he has done since preschool.  We have never been ashamed of who we are, and we have always walked into the world with the belief that more will accept us than not, and that is all we have to focus on.  In his last school I had to deal with a Principal that was Catholic.  She accepted us like any other family.  I have dealt with Catholic families in play groups.  In fact, that little boy Will that I had mentioned before, his family is Catholic, and they love us.  I don't mean to say that it is only Catholic's that have problems with homosexuality, any fundamental Christian has a problem with it.  For some reason, homosexuality is the only sin they seem to feel needs their constant attention. 

The world is changing, and for that I am grateful.  I just wish people would stop teaching their children to alienate other children for the things their parents do.  Zeb is innocent, he is loving, and he is accepting.  Children don't see skin colour, size, age, intelligence, sexual orientation, religion.  What they see is someone they want to play with and thats the whole of it.  I sure wish adults could just behave the same way.  I feel like there are too many people who find it so much easier to judge, than to accept, to hate than to love, to criticize than to praise.  I am glad that my next generation, my son, will be open to all and lift up those around him.  I am glad that I am able to teach him we are all the same, we all feel, we all breath, we all eat, we all love, and we all cry.  We are more alike than we are different and that we should celebrate the differences, not condemn them.  Religion has absolutely nothing to do with sexual orientation.  NOTHING, other than that God made me, and I was born this way!!