Spring within me!

Zeb woke us up this morning saying he wasn't feeling well and needed soup for breakfast.   So we gave him some chicken and rice soup and he ate it all up.  What a cutie!

I don't like it when Zeb is sick, it puts a damper on the whole house, but I have to admit I do like it for a day or so. 

When Zeb gets sick, he lays on the couch, doesn't say much and asks for very little.  He will let you sit near him, but not cuddle (which is a bad thing, cause I really like to cuddle).  It's probably a good thing since I don't really want to get sick and that would put me pretty close to all those germs.

The house is quiet, except for the noise coming from the tv, and I love it.  After a day or so I want my normal little man back, but boy is that first day or so wonderful.  Is that bad?

I had an wonderful dream last night, so great that I didn't want to wake up this morning.

I was dreaming that I was in a huge grocery store standing in the fresh bread section.  Oh heaven!!  I was looking at all the possibilities and couldn't make my mind up.  I think I have been missing bread, I didn't realize it, but I guess I have. 

While I was in the grocery store there was a sweet woman walking around.  She was developmentally challenge and I found her to be so much fun.  We both loved the bread section, however she has a much easier time picking out what she wanted, leaving me behind standing and staring at all the choices.

Later, after leaving the grocery store I was walking down a sidewalk with my grocery bag in my hand.  The sun was shinning brightly, and so warm on my face.  The string flowers were everywhere and the smell of fresh cut grass surrounded me as I walked.  It was a beautiful spring day, and I felt that energy that only spring brings.

While I was walking I ran into my mom, just out of no where really, I don't know where she came from.  She walked up to me and began talking.  She surprised me by telling me that she was in therapy and that she was going to try to figure out how to relate to me better.  She said that "I had it easier than her".  She was referring to my life compared to hers.  I replied with "isn't that what we want for our children?  for their lives to be easier then ours was?"  She shared with me that she was jealous of me, and that it didn't make her happy to see me happy!  This was very powerful, and what I have always felt growing up.

Finally, I returned home, or at least to the place I felt in my dream was home.  As I was coming up the walkway towards the path to the house there were two people standing on the front lawn of my house.  One of the people was a stranger to me, the other was a old former friend of mine.  They were talking to each other and laughing.  As I approached their attention came to me, and they both smiled as I got closer.  All of a sudden I noticed that my former friend was dressed in clowns clothing, except for her head, which was not dressed up but just her normal hair.  Her clothes were all loud colours, and she had mirrors pinned all over herself.  She  smiled and laughed and said, "how do I look?"  To which I replied "well, you look like a guy that used to live in my home town".   I really don't know what that meant, but I was thinking about someone who used to walk around with safety pins all over his clothes and crazy pants.  I don't actually remember this person, but for some reason in this dream I could picture him clearly.  She laughed at what I said, and then she smiled at me with a warm friendly familiar smile.  I remember that smile well, and have missed it, but I guess I didn't realize how much until this dream.

I was woken up to Zeb telling us about feeling sick, and the dream vanished. 

I love those kinds of dreams, when everything is beautiful and peaceful and just the way you wish is was.  For me they make me feel so good.  I can only dream about life being that way, where everything and everyone is happy and peaceful and ready to be who I so need them to be.  I long for these things, however I know deep down that they will never be this way.

Spring brings such energy, I think it's really the only season that does that.  Getting through a long winter, even a winter like ours, where the temperatures stayed mostly pleasant and the snow rarely flew, it is still so nice to move into life again.  It truly is the time of year of renewal, things coming back to life again.  I love it when the buds start to break and small green leaves start to push out, I love the beautiful colours of the spring flowers popping up hear and there.  There is nothing better than sitting on the back porch, drinking your morning coffee on a spring Saturday morning hearing the robins sing all over the place as they pick small worms out of the earth to feed their young. 

Life is made up of seasons, and all things come within those seasons. 

I am ready for a new season to be upon us!