I didn't know Whitney Houston, she was a famous person who sang songs, nothing more to me than that. She was a peer, in that we are very close in age and my young adulthood happened as she became a star, but nothing more than that. Her songs were magical to me, so much so that I sang one of hers at my high schools "spring fling" when I was in grade 12, but nothing more than that. Why is it, since she was nothing more than any other singer on the radio, do I feel such a loss.
Yesterday, I broke down. I had been holding in my sadness since the minute I read that she had died, and finally yesterday I allowed myself to actually feel it. I have no idea why I cried, I just did. I have never felt so badly about a famous persons death before. I have never shed a tear for anyone else famous, why her.
I have given this alot of thought over the last few days, and what I have come up with is this. Whitney Houston's death is a symbol of what is happening in our world today, and it needs to be fixed.
On Sunday night I heard all those people, through song and prayer, say they loved her. I felt the pain in that room, but yet I kept thinking there is something missing here. Where were you all when she was struggling? Where were you all when she needed your help, your hand, your shoulder, your acceptance. Seems to me they were all sitting back watching the train wreck. We did too. We sat and watched the entertainment shows talk endlessly about her bouts with this drug or that drug. We bought up all the papers that told us all about her marriage problems, drug hazes, and rehab stints. We lusted after all the bad news we could get of her, and snicker on the couch, while we thought "what a crazy bitch she is". You know you did it. You know we all did it.
So many times we watch the train wrecks in our own lives happen and just keep our positions as bystanders. We don't step in, that would be getting to involved. We don't put that much time in, not more than we have to. We are all so wrapped up in our day to day that we don't look, really look, at one another. We don't want to listen, that means I would have to be involved so don't tell me anything I don't really want to hear. We need light, no complications, as our lives are complicated enough.
You hear the word Xanax all the time. "Oh, I was heading out to the mall in the middle of the Christmas frenzy and I had to take a Xanax" like it is some sort of candy we just pop to raise our spirits. I can't cope with this in my life, but this pill, or that pill, or these pills help me get through it. I need something to just take the edge off, and this little white pill does the trick. You know you've heard it, I bet so much so that you don't even notice it anymore. It is something regularly said on the television, in interviews, in magazines stories. It's everywhere.
Why can't we cope today? Why is that we rely on so many different things to get by? I do it, you do it, we all do it. Just a little glass of wine when I get home from work, it helps me relax. I just need it to get by. Why?
I don't want to live with blinders on any more. I am worth more than that, and so are the ones in my life. I don't want to sit back passively and watch the train wreck as it roars down the track. We need to stop it before it crashes. I want to help before it goes up in flames. I need people in my life that won't just buy the rag magazine of my life to get the juicy details.
We failed her, all those people there on Sunday night failed her, Bobby Brown failed her, and most importantly she failed herself. I wish we could have heard just one person say, she is going down and someone needs to throw her a lifeline before she drowns. I wish people would stop it when they have someone on the phone who they can barely understand, instead of just keeping the recording. I wish someone would notice all those pill bottles before they are empty.
I wish we didn't lose people like Whitney Houston, Michael Jackson, Heath Ledger, Elvis, Janis Joplin, Jimmy Hendrix, Judy Garland, and Marilyn Monroe. I wish we didn't lose all those who you have lost to these terrible addictions. Life is so short as it is, we need to find a way to hold onto them, and not let them fall. God gives you and gift, and your gift back to him is what you do with it!
I truly hope now she finds peace, and that now she can just sing!
No comments:
Post a Comment