Today I begin again, once again!
After countless hours of thinking, conversations, and endless cups of coffee I have decided that it would not be wise of me to stop doing something I love to do simply because I may hurt, or more accurately, embarrass some. They should not be strong enough to silence me, nor should I give them that power, so I will not stop.
You are an asshole if you take the things I have shared in this blog and bring it to people whom you know have not read it for themselves and twist it for your own enjoyment. You are an asshole if that is your description of fun, as it is not mine.
I don't believe in hurting people intentionally, it is not my way. I am sure that I have hurt many people in my life, sometimes knowing that I had, sometimes not. No one lives a full life without some hurt along the way. I have intentionally hurt people, but I can certainly count on one hand how many times I have done that, it is was more about revenge than about the need to hurt. I am not perfect, nor would I ever want to be, I am, however, honest to a fault and that is what makes me different than the assholes who like to use this blog as gossip. I don't really know what the payout is for someone who embellishes the truth and spreads it like you are sharing a new story? I don't understand what makes one feel good about such actions. I know how good it can feel to see someone who has hurt you feel the pain back, but really, is that really rewarding? I don't think so, what it actually does for me is for a very brief moment I feel bigger than them. I feel like I deserve this, and they should be made small for what they did. I don't enjoy that feeling, I don't like being like them, I feel like I am better than that.
There are things in this blog that may very well embarrass some, and so it is. I don't apologize if you feel ashamed of yourself, or that the description of you is unfavorable. As I have said, but forgot for a short time, I do not apologize for anything written in this blog. It is my truth as I know it, feel it, and see it, and no one can deny me of that. My words are mine, not yours, not anyone other than mine. The things that I write about in this blog are my reality, my life. I can't make it up, I just don't have that sort of mind. I have always thought it is better to write about what you know and that is what I have done.
I will continue to blog, in fact I have just entered a "blog A - Z" challenge, where you blog every day of April, except Sundays, blogging a - z. I did not know about this challenge until today, so I am blogging what I would have blogged yesterday, the first day, with my A blog. Hence the title Assholes. I think this is a great way to get back into the swing of things, and also a great way to get me to write daily.
I am glad I listened to those of you who took the time to write me, and leave comments both on the blog and on facebook. I really do appreciate anyone who is willing to take the time out of their busy lives to read what I have to say. I know I am not a real writer, but I do enjoy writing and getting things out of my head and down on paper, or in this case on the screen.
So, I am back, I am happy to be back, and I am not going to stop again!
Monday, April 2, 2012
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
My final blog!
I have decided to stop blogging!
I started this blog to somehow bring clarity to my thoughts, hoping upon hope that by writing it all down I might actually figure it all out. I thought that this was a great way to keep record, of where I was and where I am today, as well as something that one day my son can read. I hoped it would help him understand his mom a little better, see what she went through and maybe just maybe cut her some slack for the things she wasn't exactly great at.
I also thought it might be a way to help those who have or are currently going through the same things I have gone through. I thought that by writing what happened to me, and what is still happening that maybe in some way it could be a light to someone who might feel like it's just too much. I wanted to show that I struggle too, but for the most part I am blessed by having so many great things in my life, and that love is possible even when you think it is impossible.
I also wanted to maybe show what it's like to raise a child in a same sex partnership. The pros and cons of it, the ups and downs, and all the rest. I hoped that maybe it would show, some who may otherwise feel like we have no business doing this, that we are more similar to you than different. That our struggles with behaviour issues, school issues, discipline, eating, playing, working it all out, is just like anyone else raising a child. I hoped that it would show that we are good parents, and it didn't really matter what our family looked like, we were doing some things right.
Over the last few days I have come to know that someone has decided to take it upon themselves to use this blog as a form of gossip. Rather than feeling my pain, struggle, and attempt to find the answers they decided it was best to go around spreading lies and making needless people upset.
This was supposed to be my truth, as I saw it, and that's it. I was supposed to be able to come on here, write from the heart and leave it out there for all of you to read. I never want to write a blog where I have to watch what I say, or how I feel or whom I may hurt today. If I can't be honest and allow my perspective to be written, than I don't want to do it anymore.
I have enjoyed blogging, it has given me such a way of getting things off my chest, express my feelings, and maybe just maybe touch a person or two.
I will miss it, but I will continue to write about my life, it just won't be with the world anymore!
Thanks for reading, I valued you all!
Marie (Zebsmom)
I started this blog to somehow bring clarity to my thoughts, hoping upon hope that by writing it all down I might actually figure it all out. I thought that this was a great way to keep record, of where I was and where I am today, as well as something that one day my son can read. I hoped it would help him understand his mom a little better, see what she went through and maybe just maybe cut her some slack for the things she wasn't exactly great at.
I also thought it might be a way to help those who have or are currently going through the same things I have gone through. I thought that by writing what happened to me, and what is still happening that maybe in some way it could be a light to someone who might feel like it's just too much. I wanted to show that I struggle too, but for the most part I am blessed by having so many great things in my life, and that love is possible even when you think it is impossible.
I also wanted to maybe show what it's like to raise a child in a same sex partnership. The pros and cons of it, the ups and downs, and all the rest. I hoped that maybe it would show, some who may otherwise feel like we have no business doing this, that we are more similar to you than different. That our struggles with behaviour issues, school issues, discipline, eating, playing, working it all out, is just like anyone else raising a child. I hoped that it would show that we are good parents, and it didn't really matter what our family looked like, we were doing some things right.
Over the last few days I have come to know that someone has decided to take it upon themselves to use this blog as a form of gossip. Rather than feeling my pain, struggle, and attempt to find the answers they decided it was best to go around spreading lies and making needless people upset.
This was supposed to be my truth, as I saw it, and that's it. I was supposed to be able to come on here, write from the heart and leave it out there for all of you to read. I never want to write a blog where I have to watch what I say, or how I feel or whom I may hurt today. If I can't be honest and allow my perspective to be written, than I don't want to do it anymore.
I have enjoyed blogging, it has given me such a way of getting things off my chest, express my feelings, and maybe just maybe touch a person or two.
I will miss it, but I will continue to write about my life, it just won't be with the world anymore!
Thanks for reading, I valued you all!
Marie (Zebsmom)
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Oh, gross, they're GAY!!!
Shortly after Zeb started at his new school, he received an invitation to a Halloween party.
I can't tell you how excited we were, he had only ever received one invitation, before this one, in his now three years of formal education, so we were beyond excited for him.
He was so excited when the day came for the party. He put on his Harry Potter costume right after breakfast and was beside himself until the time came to leave. We were glad that the party started shortly after lunch, as we wouldn't have been able to handle his excitement for much more of the day, that kid was whirling.
Damie took him to the child's home to drop him off. So unlike me to let my child go to a complete strangers home. My feeling was that the whole class was invited so it should be a rather safe place, as there would be far too many people around for anything sinister to happen.
Damie ran him up to the door and waited for someone to answer the ring of the door bell. When a parent answered the door she introduced Zeb, and they welcomed them both in.
Zeb quickly joined the rest of the kids, and Damie proceeded to explain to the parents that Zeb has ADHD and that he can sometimes have impulse control problems, especially when he is as excited as he was that day. She assured them that if he got out of hand to call and we would more than understand having to come and get him. And then she left.
When she returned to pick him up they asked her to come in and have a seat.
She immediately went to, "great, what did he do now", but that wasn't the reason they wanted to talk to her, they wanted her feed back on the use of drugs with ADHD as their son, the one who was having this party, has ADHD as well, and they were on the fence about the use of drugs.
Damie sat there for sometime, explaining what we had gone through, and how difficult of a decision it was for us regarding drugs. She explained that we had contacted numerous professionals and finally came to the conclusion that drugs were something viable to try.
She left with Zeb in tow, both feeling good about the new friends they had made.
Zeb invited their little boy to his birthday at the beginning of Dec. He and the boy had been playing most days at recess and had formed a nice little friendship. Both having the same problem, I think they kind of got each other. I can't tell you how much it makes a parent happy to hear their little boy has finally found a friend. Not an easy feat for a child with ADHD.
A couple of days before Zeb's birthday the boys father called. He asked if it would be okay if we took his son to the birthday party (we were having it at a bowling alley). I said that that was no problem at all. So we picked him up on the way.
While we were serving cake, someone asked about me. Who was I?
I have to say, so much of our social life is dealt with by Damie. She calls the parents, she sends the invites, she takes care of most of the social things. I am a little shy, and less eager to talk to strangers, also I have to trust her instincts more than my own when it comes to strangers, as I tend to be overly protective of us than she is, she is more level headed. So this is why most of the children knew Damie, but really hadn't had much to do with me.
When the question was asked, who is she? Zeb said that's my mom! Which was quickly followed by one of the kids saying, " you can't have two moms", which was quickly followed by his friend Will saying, very sternly "oh yes you can".
Will has been around us for a few years now. His whole family and ours have gotten to know each other, and his very intelligent and kind parents have taught their children that families come in all kinds of shapes and sizes and that they are all good with them. You have to love people who teach their children to respect differences and to accept others, no matter how different they are.
I was so proud of Will at that moment, and was eager to tell his mother what he had done, as it is things like this that dreams are made of! She is a great mom, and she should reap the benefit's of that!! I think if your child behaves well when you are not around, you have done a good job.
Well, the boy who had had the Halloween party, and who also has ADHD immediately said, "Nope, you can't have two moms, that isn't normal". Well my heart sunk. I knew this was going to become an issue.
Early in Dec, shortly after Zeb's birthday, there was a open house at the school. All the families come, do some stupid crafts in rooms that are way too full, go listen to you kid sing some stupid songs, in gyms that are too small and crowded, and then you go home all sweaty and tired. Well if we didn't run into the boys father while we were there.
I was busy trying to pick up all the gold sprinkles Zeb had spilled all over someones desk, while Damie was across the room talking to the boys father. They seemed to be having a good conversation, one that I would come into after all the sprinkles were picked up. This was the first time his dad had ever put eyes on me. He didn't appear to be shocked in any way. I was feeling good about it. I thought, we were wrong about these people, they don't have a problem with the two moms thing. I was relieved.
I found out later that Damie had been discussing with the kids dad about getting the boys together during the Christmas break. His dad had said that he was pretty sure the boy was going to be getting a fair amount of Lego, and sure could use Zeb's help putting it all together. I can't tell you how happy that made me feel. I was grateful that our unique situation had not scared them away. I was sure that the boy had gone home from Zeb's birthday party and told them all about Zeb's two moms, but by the way his dad was acting that day, I realized we had come to the wrong conclusion and how wrong we were.
Well, Christmas came and went and there was no playdate, no phone calls, nothing.
I thought, well you know Christmas always seems like a lot of time, but it always goes by so quick they probably just lost track of the days. No real problem.
We then find out that a few days after the open house at school the boy came to Zeb and said he could no longer be friends with him, and he has not played with Zeb during recess since. I guess we weren't wrong after all. I guess the boy hadn't gone home after the party and told his parents all about Zeb's two moms, I guess they didn't know about it until the open house when he met the both of us. I guess this still happens even in 2012.
I can't say that I wasn't fully aware of this possibility before I even conceived Zeb. I can't say I didn't give it a great deal of thought, and wondered how it would be for him, as this is not the family he chose to be in. I did think, what if no one will be his friend simply because of Damie and I. It was a real concern. I can tell you I lost sleep over it.
Zeb is a strong boy, in mind and spirit. He is proud of his family, and has never been afraid of telling anyone all about his two moms, which he has done since preschool. We have never been ashamed of who we are, and we have always walked into the world with the belief that more will accept us than not, and that is all we have to focus on. In his last school I had to deal with a Principal that was Catholic. She accepted us like any other family. I have dealt with Catholic families in play groups. In fact, that little boy Will that I had mentioned before, his family is Catholic, and they love us. I don't mean to say that it is only Catholic's that have problems with homosexuality, any fundamental Christian has a problem with it. For some reason, homosexuality is the only sin they seem to feel needs their constant attention.
The world is changing, and for that I am grateful. I just wish people would stop teaching their children to alienate other children for the things their parents do. Zeb is innocent, he is loving, and he is accepting. Children don't see skin colour, size, age, intelligence, sexual orientation, religion. What they see is someone they want to play with and thats the whole of it. I sure wish adults could just behave the same way. I feel like there are too many people who find it so much easier to judge, than to accept, to hate than to love, to criticize than to praise. I am glad that my next generation, my son, will be open to all and lift up those around him. I am glad that I am able to teach him we are all the same, we all feel, we all breath, we all eat, we all love, and we all cry. We are more alike than we are different and that we should celebrate the differences, not condemn them. Religion has absolutely nothing to do with sexual orientation. NOTHING, other than that God made me, and I was born this way!!
I can't tell you how excited we were, he had only ever received one invitation, before this one, in his now three years of formal education, so we were beyond excited for him.
He was so excited when the day came for the party. He put on his Harry Potter costume right after breakfast and was beside himself until the time came to leave. We were glad that the party started shortly after lunch, as we wouldn't have been able to handle his excitement for much more of the day, that kid was whirling.
Damie took him to the child's home to drop him off. So unlike me to let my child go to a complete strangers home. My feeling was that the whole class was invited so it should be a rather safe place, as there would be far too many people around for anything sinister to happen.
Damie ran him up to the door and waited for someone to answer the ring of the door bell. When a parent answered the door she introduced Zeb, and they welcomed them both in.
Zeb quickly joined the rest of the kids, and Damie proceeded to explain to the parents that Zeb has ADHD and that he can sometimes have impulse control problems, especially when he is as excited as he was that day. She assured them that if he got out of hand to call and we would more than understand having to come and get him. And then she left.
When she returned to pick him up they asked her to come in and have a seat.
She immediately went to, "great, what did he do now", but that wasn't the reason they wanted to talk to her, they wanted her feed back on the use of drugs with ADHD as their son, the one who was having this party, has ADHD as well, and they were on the fence about the use of drugs.
Damie sat there for sometime, explaining what we had gone through, and how difficult of a decision it was for us regarding drugs. She explained that we had contacted numerous professionals and finally came to the conclusion that drugs were something viable to try.
She left with Zeb in tow, both feeling good about the new friends they had made.
Zeb invited their little boy to his birthday at the beginning of Dec. He and the boy had been playing most days at recess and had formed a nice little friendship. Both having the same problem, I think they kind of got each other. I can't tell you how much it makes a parent happy to hear their little boy has finally found a friend. Not an easy feat for a child with ADHD.
A couple of days before Zeb's birthday the boys father called. He asked if it would be okay if we took his son to the birthday party (we were having it at a bowling alley). I said that that was no problem at all. So we picked him up on the way.
While we were serving cake, someone asked about me. Who was I?
I have to say, so much of our social life is dealt with by Damie. She calls the parents, she sends the invites, she takes care of most of the social things. I am a little shy, and less eager to talk to strangers, also I have to trust her instincts more than my own when it comes to strangers, as I tend to be overly protective of us than she is, she is more level headed. So this is why most of the children knew Damie, but really hadn't had much to do with me.
When the question was asked, who is she? Zeb said that's my mom! Which was quickly followed by one of the kids saying, " you can't have two moms", which was quickly followed by his friend Will saying, very sternly "oh yes you can".
Will has been around us for a few years now. His whole family and ours have gotten to know each other, and his very intelligent and kind parents have taught their children that families come in all kinds of shapes and sizes and that they are all good with them. You have to love people who teach their children to respect differences and to accept others, no matter how different they are.
I was so proud of Will at that moment, and was eager to tell his mother what he had done, as it is things like this that dreams are made of! She is a great mom, and she should reap the benefit's of that!! I think if your child behaves well when you are not around, you have done a good job.
Well, the boy who had had the Halloween party, and who also has ADHD immediately said, "Nope, you can't have two moms, that isn't normal". Well my heart sunk. I knew this was going to become an issue.
Early in Dec, shortly after Zeb's birthday, there was a open house at the school. All the families come, do some stupid crafts in rooms that are way too full, go listen to you kid sing some stupid songs, in gyms that are too small and crowded, and then you go home all sweaty and tired. Well if we didn't run into the boys father while we were there.
I was busy trying to pick up all the gold sprinkles Zeb had spilled all over someones desk, while Damie was across the room talking to the boys father. They seemed to be having a good conversation, one that I would come into after all the sprinkles were picked up. This was the first time his dad had ever put eyes on me. He didn't appear to be shocked in any way. I was feeling good about it. I thought, we were wrong about these people, they don't have a problem with the two moms thing. I was relieved.
I found out later that Damie had been discussing with the kids dad about getting the boys together during the Christmas break. His dad had said that he was pretty sure the boy was going to be getting a fair amount of Lego, and sure could use Zeb's help putting it all together. I can't tell you how happy that made me feel. I was grateful that our unique situation had not scared them away. I was sure that the boy had gone home from Zeb's birthday party and told them all about Zeb's two moms, but by the way his dad was acting that day, I realized we had come to the wrong conclusion and how wrong we were.
Well, Christmas came and went and there was no playdate, no phone calls, nothing.
I thought, well you know Christmas always seems like a lot of time, but it always goes by so quick they probably just lost track of the days. No real problem.
We then find out that a few days after the open house at school the boy came to Zeb and said he could no longer be friends with him, and he has not played with Zeb during recess since. I guess we weren't wrong after all. I guess the boy hadn't gone home after the party and told his parents all about Zeb's two moms, I guess they didn't know about it until the open house when he met the both of us. I guess this still happens even in 2012.
I can't say that I wasn't fully aware of this possibility before I even conceived Zeb. I can't say I didn't give it a great deal of thought, and wondered how it would be for him, as this is not the family he chose to be in. I did think, what if no one will be his friend simply because of Damie and I. It was a real concern. I can tell you I lost sleep over it.
Zeb is a strong boy, in mind and spirit. He is proud of his family, and has never been afraid of telling anyone all about his two moms, which he has done since preschool. We have never been ashamed of who we are, and we have always walked into the world with the belief that more will accept us than not, and that is all we have to focus on. In his last school I had to deal with a Principal that was Catholic. She accepted us like any other family. I have dealt with Catholic families in play groups. In fact, that little boy Will that I had mentioned before, his family is Catholic, and they love us. I don't mean to say that it is only Catholic's that have problems with homosexuality, any fundamental Christian has a problem with it. For some reason, homosexuality is the only sin they seem to feel needs their constant attention.
The world is changing, and for that I am grateful. I just wish people would stop teaching their children to alienate other children for the things their parents do. Zeb is innocent, he is loving, and he is accepting. Children don't see skin colour, size, age, intelligence, sexual orientation, religion. What they see is someone they want to play with and thats the whole of it. I sure wish adults could just behave the same way. I feel like there are too many people who find it so much easier to judge, than to accept, to hate than to love, to criticize than to praise. I am glad that my next generation, my son, will be open to all and lift up those around him. I am glad that I am able to teach him we are all the same, we all feel, we all breath, we all eat, we all love, and we all cry. We are more alike than we are different and that we should celebrate the differences, not condemn them. Religion has absolutely nothing to do with sexual orientation. NOTHING, other than that God made me, and I was born this way!!
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Sping break and I'm so tired!!
It's spring break here, well in Canada we call it March break since it always happens in March, however we are so highly influenced by America that I think most people now call it spring break.
It's spring break here, and the weather has been amazing. I don't like to use the word amazing much as I think it is too overused, but it has been great weather so far.
We have been busy taking the kid all over the county, it's a better week when you can keep them busy. We belong to a mommies group and luckily there is a wonderful mommies who act's as the "event planner" when it comes to things like this. If it were left up to me, honestly, my kid would do Lego's all day, and maybe go out and ride the bike once in a while. I am grateful for the group!
So far this week he has seen a magician pirate at the mall, gone to a maple syrup demonstration and fun day at a historical homestead, and gone on a nature walk and picnic. Not to mention, we have also taken him all over our hamlet on our bikes. He is getting really good at riding his bike, and becoming more confident every time he goes on. I think this is great, since last year he go "it" and then hardly had an opportunity to actually ride again until this year. I guess the old saying, once you learn to ride a bike you never forget.
It's been a great week, and having Damie home has made it even more enjoyable. I can't remember a spring break that has been so much fun for all of us.
Last night, after spending the morning hiking in the forest, having a picnic and then coming home and going on a really long bike ride int he evening, the kid had a hard time falling asleep. I don't know why this is, I was exhausted, but not him. He was still raring to go at 9, which was an hour after his normal bedtime. We finally got him to go off to bed, but it didn't last long. A few minutes after the lights went out, out he comes to the living room.
This type of behaviour hardly ever happens at our house. He usually falls asleep within minutes and we don't see him again until morning, so when it does happen it kind of takes you aback.
He walks into the living room and says I can't get to sleep because all the animals were cold and took all my blankets!
I have to tell you now, he has at least 30 stuffed animals on his bed. They are mostly pillow pets and angry birds, but some, like his humpback whale has been around since he was a baby. When he was really small he didn't have much at all to do with stuffed animals. In fact, we threw out many of them as he didn't seem to care. Since he turned 6 he has had this thing for them, and can't seem to get enough of them. Every time he sees a new pillow pet he has to have it. It's like crack to him! We usually give in.....I know suckers right!
We went to see what he was talking about in regards to the blankets. He had taken all the blankets on his bed, and there are quite a few, and covered all the stuffies and left nothing for himself.....so cute I might add! We walked over to the bed and told him that we would make sure they all had blankets, but that he needed to have some too! At this point he said well they all have to be in families! So we organized them all in their families and covered them all up, pulled the blankets up to his chin and kissed him goodnight for the second time. We didn't hear from him again!
So much of him is growing up, I miss my baby! I love the way he has grown and become more independent, but sometimes I miss his constant need for me. It's things like the stuffed animal thing that still gives me the warm and fuzzes. He is so big, but yet still so little. He wants to be independent, but he doesn't want us too far away, he loves playing with his friends, but would still rather play with us. This is a great time in his life, and I am loving every minute of it.
No one can ever explain just how much your heart melts on a daily bases when you have a kid. I am constantly feeling it, and wondering if it is possible to love another human being more than I love that little boy. Until you have a child of your own you don't get the whole child parent bond thing. You think you get it by the way you feel about your parents, but it is nothing compared to the way you feel about your child. I remember when I was a kid being so scared that one day my parents would be dead and I would be all alone, it is nothing compared to the feeling I have now that one day I will leave this earth and miss all the things that come after me in his life. It is the scariest thought, yet it is the way it should be right. I can't imagine him having a life without me in it, as much as I can't imagine having a life without him in it, yet he will and I will be glad in it!
Parenthood is such a mess of emotions......more than one would ever imagine. Sure there are more times than I can count that make me want to pull all of my hair out, and there are times I don't think I could get more frustrated with another single person, but most of the time he lights my world and warms my heart and I can't get enough. I wouldn't trade this for the world......honestly!
It's spring break here, and the weather has been amazing. I don't like to use the word amazing much as I think it is too overused, but it has been great weather so far.
We have been busy taking the kid all over the county, it's a better week when you can keep them busy. We belong to a mommies group and luckily there is a wonderful mommies who act's as the "event planner" when it comes to things like this. If it were left up to me, honestly, my kid would do Lego's all day, and maybe go out and ride the bike once in a while. I am grateful for the group!
So far this week he has seen a magician pirate at the mall, gone to a maple syrup demonstration and fun day at a historical homestead, and gone on a nature walk and picnic. Not to mention, we have also taken him all over our hamlet on our bikes. He is getting really good at riding his bike, and becoming more confident every time he goes on. I think this is great, since last year he go "it" and then hardly had an opportunity to actually ride again until this year. I guess the old saying, once you learn to ride a bike you never forget.
It's been a great week, and having Damie home has made it even more enjoyable. I can't remember a spring break that has been so much fun for all of us.
Last night, after spending the morning hiking in the forest, having a picnic and then coming home and going on a really long bike ride int he evening, the kid had a hard time falling asleep. I don't know why this is, I was exhausted, but not him. He was still raring to go at 9, which was an hour after his normal bedtime. We finally got him to go off to bed, but it didn't last long. A few minutes after the lights went out, out he comes to the living room.
This type of behaviour hardly ever happens at our house. He usually falls asleep within minutes and we don't see him again until morning, so when it does happen it kind of takes you aback.
He walks into the living room and says I can't get to sleep because all the animals were cold and took all my blankets!
I have to tell you now, he has at least 30 stuffed animals on his bed. They are mostly pillow pets and angry birds, but some, like his humpback whale has been around since he was a baby. When he was really small he didn't have much at all to do with stuffed animals. In fact, we threw out many of them as he didn't seem to care. Since he turned 6 he has had this thing for them, and can't seem to get enough of them. Every time he sees a new pillow pet he has to have it. It's like crack to him! We usually give in.....I know suckers right!
We went to see what he was talking about in regards to the blankets. He had taken all the blankets on his bed, and there are quite a few, and covered all the stuffies and left nothing for himself.....so cute I might add! We walked over to the bed and told him that we would make sure they all had blankets, but that he needed to have some too! At this point he said well they all have to be in families! So we organized them all in their families and covered them all up, pulled the blankets up to his chin and kissed him goodnight for the second time. We didn't hear from him again!
So much of him is growing up, I miss my baby! I love the way he has grown and become more independent, but sometimes I miss his constant need for me. It's things like the stuffed animal thing that still gives me the warm and fuzzes. He is so big, but yet still so little. He wants to be independent, but he doesn't want us too far away, he loves playing with his friends, but would still rather play with us. This is a great time in his life, and I am loving every minute of it.
No one can ever explain just how much your heart melts on a daily bases when you have a kid. I am constantly feeling it, and wondering if it is possible to love another human being more than I love that little boy. Until you have a child of your own you don't get the whole child parent bond thing. You think you get it by the way you feel about your parents, but it is nothing compared to the way you feel about your child. I remember when I was a kid being so scared that one day my parents would be dead and I would be all alone, it is nothing compared to the feeling I have now that one day I will leave this earth and miss all the things that come after me in his life. It is the scariest thought, yet it is the way it should be right. I can't imagine him having a life without me in it, as much as I can't imagine having a life without him in it, yet he will and I will be glad in it!
Parenthood is such a mess of emotions......more than one would ever imagine. Sure there are more times than I can count that make me want to pull all of my hair out, and there are times I don't think I could get more frustrated with another single person, but most of the time he lights my world and warms my heart and I can't get enough. I wouldn't trade this for the world......honestly!
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
An Island of reason in a sea of diarrhea!
There certainly are times that I feel like I am the only reasonable person within a 1000 mile radius.
There is so much crap going on right now, I don't even know where to start.
I will start with the easier of the stuff. Who leaves their child at Chuck E cheese and forgets about them until the next frigging day??
I ask you, what mother with any common sense would let their child play at Chuck E cheese and not feel the need to scrub that child clean before bed? I can maybe get that they had lots of kids, and that maybe they thought someone else was bringing her home, but really, does no one tuck this child into bed at night?
When my son goes to bed I go into his room, tuck him in and kiss him. Before I go to bed I go in and tuck him in, turn off lights (if Damie hasn't already done so), I kiss him on the cheek and off to bed I go. The dog even goes into his room before she goes into her crate to make sure he is there and all is well.
I don't really know what bothers me more, that this poor child was left behind, or that no one cares enough to tuck her in at night. Both breaks my heart equally!
I think sometimes that there are people who just shouldn't breed!!
Now onto the case of Tori Staffer.
I read the testimony given today by Terri-Lynne McClintic, who has been found guilty of first degree murder in regards to this case and is currently doing time.
The testimony literally made me sick to my stomach. I had to leave the computer and go to the bathroom.
Who does things like this to a child, anybody really, but it is just unimaginable when it deals with a child.
This is what I think, and this of course in only my opinion, I think if you run with the wolves you should die with the wolves. However in this case an innocent child lost her life because you decided to let these types of people into yours. Seems to me, if you have a kid you no longer have a right to be addicted to drugs. Seems to me, that once you take on that responsibility you then lose the right to not seek treatment and do everything possible to get yourself in shape and that if you just cannot get yourself off you must forfeit the child for their own well being. Again, some people should just never breed!!
This does not take anything away from the people who did this heinous act. They are sick mother $%^&*()'s and should be raped and beaten on the head with a hammer until they are dead. Just for the record, it is times like this that I am all for the death penalty to come back to Canada. These people are without certain basic human qualities and are not capable of knowing right from wrong. They are both menace's to society and nothing will ever change that!!
Gay people are constantly criticized for raising children. If I have heard once I have heard a thousand times that no gay person has any business raising children. Well you know what, those gay people have to jump through hoops to get a child because they really want them!! They actually take the job seriously, and hence do the very best they can and fill those children's lives will more love than they thought was ever imaginable. Breeders can have kids, for the most part just by breathing. Oops, there's another mouth to feed. Easy peazy!! Those that have to work at it, actually want them and do right by them.
It sickens me to think of the evil out there just waiting for the next opportunity. It is such mindless insanity. No wonder I can't let my kid out of my site for a second!
My rant is offically complete!
Now onto more personal things.
For the past few years I have been kind of left out of the life of a friend of mine. She and I have been friends since I was 15, at one point it was like we were family. Than we both found our significant others, had kids and life got busy. For the past 6 yrs I have seen her at her kids birthday party, at my kids birthday party, and then at some point during Christmas, except last year when we exchanged the kids presents in March.
I don't think that is so unusual, except that the only time I really hear from her is when she needs something. You know, can my kid come to your house after school for a while because I have a Dr appointment and might be late picking the kid up from school. Sure, no problem. Or do you mind watching my kid on Sat. because we bought tickets to see the concert at Ceasars and our babysitter is sick. Sure, no problem.
After a couple of years of that I started asking for the same types of favors. Not to get even or anything, but to rather let her know that it can go both ways and to never feel like it wasn't something she could do because I don't ask back. Sometimes I think people don't ask for favors if you don't ask them for them. I didn't want her to feel that way, so I started asking.
Three years ago I told her that I missed spending time with her, and that I wished that I could hear from her more often and not just when she needed something.
At first she got all defensive, and then the next day she called and said that she understood what I was saying and that it was true. She said it was unintentional, and that she didn't realize it until I pointed it out. She asked me to go have lunch and that was the end of it.
Since then I have asked her to this and that with me, but she is always too busy. She does alot with her family and for a while she was busy every weekend with them. I think that's great, family is very important and although I don't have a family like that I totally respect and envy her a bit for that relationship.
Last year I talked to her again about wanting to spend time with her, and that I missed it. I said that it didn't feel like she really wanted to be friends any more. She told me I was being "high schoolish" and that she doesn't have time to spend with anyone. She told me not to take it personally, that she was just so busy with life that there was no time for anything else. At that point I decided to take what I am given and be glad in it!
Well, yesterday I took my kid to the mall to see a pirate magician and while I was walking down the mall to the show I ran into my friend. She was with another friend of hers that I have met on a few occasions, such as her kids birthday parties.
You could cut the tension with a knife. I knew how I was feeling, and I could tell she was not at all comfortable with the fact that here we all were.
We all talked nicely, my kid told her that he was meeting a friend at the show and didn't want to be late. He asked her if she remembered his friend, and she said yes, and then off we went.
I wasn't 10 steps away before the tears started.
Damie knew right away what was happening and put her arm on my back. She told me how sorry she was that that had just happened and that she felt so bad for me.
I was a mess. Nothing like walking down the mall with tears streaming down you face uncontrollably.
This was all I could take. I had just got past the whole episode with my family during the death of my father and now one more person shows me how little I mean to them.
It is very hard not to go to "what's wrong with me, why does no one chose me?" I feel like I am just an island in a sea of diarrhea!!
I pulled it together, put on a happy face for my kid, and joined the rest of the group at the show. The day went fine, but it never went far from my thoughts.
She and I have a history. She knows all about me, all my secrets. She was there when I went through some of the darkest of days, she was there when I needed a shoulder, long before Damie was in the picture. She was the sister I never had. In high school I spent so much time at her house her mom started to wonder if I had a place to live. I saw her through nursing school, helped her pull herself back up when her professor was miserable to her and she started to wonder if she had picked the right career. I was there when she got married, her maid of honor.
Watching it all dissolve is very difficult. I really don't think I could have done any more to try to keep it, without being a nut.
I don't have any problems with her having other friends, that's what life is all about. I was on my way to join my other friends at the show. It just hurts when you are never the one she picks.
Life goes on right, and we all get over the hurts. The tears will stop eventually, and I will move on. But for now, I feel very sad!
There is so much crap going on right now, I don't even know where to start.
I will start with the easier of the stuff. Who leaves their child at Chuck E cheese and forgets about them until the next frigging day??
I ask you, what mother with any common sense would let their child play at Chuck E cheese and not feel the need to scrub that child clean before bed? I can maybe get that they had lots of kids, and that maybe they thought someone else was bringing her home, but really, does no one tuck this child into bed at night?
When my son goes to bed I go into his room, tuck him in and kiss him. Before I go to bed I go in and tuck him in, turn off lights (if Damie hasn't already done so), I kiss him on the cheek and off to bed I go. The dog even goes into his room before she goes into her crate to make sure he is there and all is well.
I don't really know what bothers me more, that this poor child was left behind, or that no one cares enough to tuck her in at night. Both breaks my heart equally!
I think sometimes that there are people who just shouldn't breed!!
Now onto the case of Tori Staffer.
I read the testimony given today by Terri-Lynne McClintic, who has been found guilty of first degree murder in regards to this case and is currently doing time.
The testimony literally made me sick to my stomach. I had to leave the computer and go to the bathroom.
Who does things like this to a child, anybody really, but it is just unimaginable when it deals with a child.
This is what I think, and this of course in only my opinion, I think if you run with the wolves you should die with the wolves. However in this case an innocent child lost her life because you decided to let these types of people into yours. Seems to me, if you have a kid you no longer have a right to be addicted to drugs. Seems to me, that once you take on that responsibility you then lose the right to not seek treatment and do everything possible to get yourself in shape and that if you just cannot get yourself off you must forfeit the child for their own well being. Again, some people should just never breed!!
This does not take anything away from the people who did this heinous act. They are sick mother $%^&*()'s and should be raped and beaten on the head with a hammer until they are dead. Just for the record, it is times like this that I am all for the death penalty to come back to Canada. These people are without certain basic human qualities and are not capable of knowing right from wrong. They are both menace's to society and nothing will ever change that!!
Gay people are constantly criticized for raising children. If I have heard once I have heard a thousand times that no gay person has any business raising children. Well you know what, those gay people have to jump through hoops to get a child because they really want them!! They actually take the job seriously, and hence do the very best they can and fill those children's lives will more love than they thought was ever imaginable. Breeders can have kids, for the most part just by breathing. Oops, there's another mouth to feed. Easy peazy!! Those that have to work at it, actually want them and do right by them.
It sickens me to think of the evil out there just waiting for the next opportunity. It is such mindless insanity. No wonder I can't let my kid out of my site for a second!
My rant is offically complete!
Now onto more personal things.
For the past few years I have been kind of left out of the life of a friend of mine. She and I have been friends since I was 15, at one point it was like we were family. Than we both found our significant others, had kids and life got busy. For the past 6 yrs I have seen her at her kids birthday party, at my kids birthday party, and then at some point during Christmas, except last year when we exchanged the kids presents in March.
I don't think that is so unusual, except that the only time I really hear from her is when she needs something. You know, can my kid come to your house after school for a while because I have a Dr appointment and might be late picking the kid up from school. Sure, no problem. Or do you mind watching my kid on Sat. because we bought tickets to see the concert at Ceasars and our babysitter is sick. Sure, no problem.
After a couple of years of that I started asking for the same types of favors. Not to get even or anything, but to rather let her know that it can go both ways and to never feel like it wasn't something she could do because I don't ask back. Sometimes I think people don't ask for favors if you don't ask them for them. I didn't want her to feel that way, so I started asking.
Three years ago I told her that I missed spending time with her, and that I wished that I could hear from her more often and not just when she needed something.
At first she got all defensive, and then the next day she called and said that she understood what I was saying and that it was true. She said it was unintentional, and that she didn't realize it until I pointed it out. She asked me to go have lunch and that was the end of it.
Since then I have asked her to this and that with me, but she is always too busy. She does alot with her family and for a while she was busy every weekend with them. I think that's great, family is very important and although I don't have a family like that I totally respect and envy her a bit for that relationship.
Last year I talked to her again about wanting to spend time with her, and that I missed it. I said that it didn't feel like she really wanted to be friends any more. She told me I was being "high schoolish" and that she doesn't have time to spend with anyone. She told me not to take it personally, that she was just so busy with life that there was no time for anything else. At that point I decided to take what I am given and be glad in it!
Well, yesterday I took my kid to the mall to see a pirate magician and while I was walking down the mall to the show I ran into my friend. She was with another friend of hers that I have met on a few occasions, such as her kids birthday parties.
You could cut the tension with a knife. I knew how I was feeling, and I could tell she was not at all comfortable with the fact that here we all were.
We all talked nicely, my kid told her that he was meeting a friend at the show and didn't want to be late. He asked her if she remembered his friend, and she said yes, and then off we went.
I wasn't 10 steps away before the tears started.
Damie knew right away what was happening and put her arm on my back. She told me how sorry she was that that had just happened and that she felt so bad for me.
I was a mess. Nothing like walking down the mall with tears streaming down you face uncontrollably.
This was all I could take. I had just got past the whole episode with my family during the death of my father and now one more person shows me how little I mean to them.
It is very hard not to go to "what's wrong with me, why does no one chose me?" I feel like I am just an island in a sea of diarrhea!!
I pulled it together, put on a happy face for my kid, and joined the rest of the group at the show. The day went fine, but it never went far from my thoughts.
She and I have a history. She knows all about me, all my secrets. She was there when I went through some of the darkest of days, she was there when I needed a shoulder, long before Damie was in the picture. She was the sister I never had. In high school I spent so much time at her house her mom started to wonder if I had a place to live. I saw her through nursing school, helped her pull herself back up when her professor was miserable to her and she started to wonder if she had picked the right career. I was there when she got married, her maid of honor.
Watching it all dissolve is very difficult. I really don't think I could have done any more to try to keep it, without being a nut.
I don't have any problems with her having other friends, that's what life is all about. I was on my way to join my other friends at the show. It just hurts when you are never the one she picks.
Life goes on right, and we all get over the hurts. The tears will stop eventually, and I will move on. But for now, I feel very sad!
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Spring within me!
Zeb woke us up this morning saying he wasn't feeling well and needed soup for breakfast. So we gave him some chicken and rice soup and he ate it all up. What a cutie!
I don't like it when Zeb is sick, it puts a damper on the whole house, but I have to admit I do like it for a day or so.
When Zeb gets sick, he lays on the couch, doesn't say much and asks for very little. He will let you sit near him, but not cuddle (which is a bad thing, cause I really like to cuddle). It's probably a good thing since I don't really want to get sick and that would put me pretty close to all those germs.
The house is quiet, except for the noise coming from the tv, and I love it. After a day or so I want my normal little man back, but boy is that first day or so wonderful. Is that bad?
I had an wonderful dream last night, so great that I didn't want to wake up this morning.
I was dreaming that I was in a huge grocery store standing in the fresh bread section. Oh heaven!! I was looking at all the possibilities and couldn't make my mind up. I think I have been missing bread, I didn't realize it, but I guess I have.
While I was in the grocery store there was a sweet woman walking around. She was developmentally challenge and I found her to be so much fun. We both loved the bread section, however she has a much easier time picking out what she wanted, leaving me behind standing and staring at all the choices.
Later, after leaving the grocery store I was walking down a sidewalk with my grocery bag in my hand. The sun was shinning brightly, and so warm on my face. The string flowers were everywhere and the smell of fresh cut grass surrounded me as I walked. It was a beautiful spring day, and I felt that energy that only spring brings.
While I was walking I ran into my mom, just out of no where really, I don't know where she came from. She walked up to me and began talking. She surprised me by telling me that she was in therapy and that she was going to try to figure out how to relate to me better. She said that "I had it easier than her". She was referring to my life compared to hers. I replied with "isn't that what we want for our children? for their lives to be easier then ours was?" She shared with me that she was jealous of me, and that it didn't make her happy to see me happy! This was very powerful, and what I have always felt growing up.
Finally, I returned home, or at least to the place I felt in my dream was home. As I was coming up the walkway towards the path to the house there were two people standing on the front lawn of my house. One of the people was a stranger to me, the other was a old former friend of mine. They were talking to each other and laughing. As I approached their attention came to me, and they both smiled as I got closer. All of a sudden I noticed that my former friend was dressed in clowns clothing, except for her head, which was not dressed up but just her normal hair. Her clothes were all loud colours, and she had mirrors pinned all over herself. She smiled and laughed and said, "how do I look?" To which I replied "well, you look like a guy that used to live in my home town". I really don't know what that meant, but I was thinking about someone who used to walk around with safety pins all over his clothes and crazy pants. I don't actually remember this person, but for some reason in this dream I could picture him clearly. She laughed at what I said, and then she smiled at me with a warm friendly familiar smile. I remember that smile well, and have missed it, but I guess I didn't realize how much until this dream.
I was woken up to Zeb telling us about feeling sick, and the dream vanished.
I love those kinds of dreams, when everything is beautiful and peaceful and just the way you wish is was. For me they make me feel so good. I can only dream about life being that way, where everything and everyone is happy and peaceful and ready to be who I so need them to be. I long for these things, however I know deep down that they will never be this way.
Spring brings such energy, I think it's really the only season that does that. Getting through a long winter, even a winter like ours, where the temperatures stayed mostly pleasant and the snow rarely flew, it is still so nice to move into life again. It truly is the time of year of renewal, things coming back to life again. I love it when the buds start to break and small green leaves start to push out, I love the beautiful colours of the spring flowers popping up hear and there. There is nothing better than sitting on the back porch, drinking your morning coffee on a spring Saturday morning hearing the robins sing all over the place as they pick small worms out of the earth to feed their young.
Life is made up of seasons, and all things come within those seasons.
I am ready for a new season to be upon us!
I don't like it when Zeb is sick, it puts a damper on the whole house, but I have to admit I do like it for a day or so.
When Zeb gets sick, he lays on the couch, doesn't say much and asks for very little. He will let you sit near him, but not cuddle (which is a bad thing, cause I really like to cuddle). It's probably a good thing since I don't really want to get sick and that would put me pretty close to all those germs.
The house is quiet, except for the noise coming from the tv, and I love it. After a day or so I want my normal little man back, but boy is that first day or so wonderful. Is that bad?
I had an wonderful dream last night, so great that I didn't want to wake up this morning.
I was dreaming that I was in a huge grocery store standing in the fresh bread section. Oh heaven!! I was looking at all the possibilities and couldn't make my mind up. I think I have been missing bread, I didn't realize it, but I guess I have.
While I was in the grocery store there was a sweet woman walking around. She was developmentally challenge and I found her to be so much fun. We both loved the bread section, however she has a much easier time picking out what she wanted, leaving me behind standing and staring at all the choices.
Later, after leaving the grocery store I was walking down a sidewalk with my grocery bag in my hand. The sun was shinning brightly, and so warm on my face. The string flowers were everywhere and the smell of fresh cut grass surrounded me as I walked. It was a beautiful spring day, and I felt that energy that only spring brings.
While I was walking I ran into my mom, just out of no where really, I don't know where she came from. She walked up to me and began talking. She surprised me by telling me that she was in therapy and that she was going to try to figure out how to relate to me better. She said that "I had it easier than her". She was referring to my life compared to hers. I replied with "isn't that what we want for our children? for their lives to be easier then ours was?" She shared with me that she was jealous of me, and that it didn't make her happy to see me happy! This was very powerful, and what I have always felt growing up.
Finally, I returned home, or at least to the place I felt in my dream was home. As I was coming up the walkway towards the path to the house there were two people standing on the front lawn of my house. One of the people was a stranger to me, the other was a old former friend of mine. They were talking to each other and laughing. As I approached their attention came to me, and they both smiled as I got closer. All of a sudden I noticed that my former friend was dressed in clowns clothing, except for her head, which was not dressed up but just her normal hair. Her clothes were all loud colours, and she had mirrors pinned all over herself. She smiled and laughed and said, "how do I look?" To which I replied "well, you look like a guy that used to live in my home town". I really don't know what that meant, but I was thinking about someone who used to walk around with safety pins all over his clothes and crazy pants. I don't actually remember this person, but for some reason in this dream I could picture him clearly. She laughed at what I said, and then she smiled at me with a warm friendly familiar smile. I remember that smile well, and have missed it, but I guess I didn't realize how much until this dream.
I was woken up to Zeb telling us about feeling sick, and the dream vanished.
I love those kinds of dreams, when everything is beautiful and peaceful and just the way you wish is was. For me they make me feel so good. I can only dream about life being that way, where everything and everyone is happy and peaceful and ready to be who I so need them to be. I long for these things, however I know deep down that they will never be this way.
Spring brings such energy, I think it's really the only season that does that. Getting through a long winter, even a winter like ours, where the temperatures stayed mostly pleasant and the snow rarely flew, it is still so nice to move into life again. It truly is the time of year of renewal, things coming back to life again. I love it when the buds start to break and small green leaves start to push out, I love the beautiful colours of the spring flowers popping up hear and there. There is nothing better than sitting on the back porch, drinking your morning coffee on a spring Saturday morning hearing the robins sing all over the place as they pick small worms out of the earth to feed their young.
Life is made up of seasons, and all things come within those seasons.
I am ready for a new season to be upon us!
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
OMGOSH, I measured my butt!
Two Sundays ago Damie and I started a diet. Yes, another one. No, this time it's different I swear!
I had been doing some research and discovered that there is a reason I am round around the middle and have a large butt and upper legs....seems my hormones are out of whack. This is total news to me, why didn't anyone ever tell me that before?
So it seems there is a way to *fix* these things and it all has to do with reducing carbs and eating more lean meats. Wow, again, why didn't anyone ever tell me this?
So two Sundays ago we began our quest to reduce or middles and take some of the heft off the butt and legs.
We did all the incredibly embarrassing things, like weigh ourselves (not good) and took all our measurements (bigger not good), as we read that we will lose lots of inches....I was not holding my breath. So we were set, ready for this ONE to finally work.
This is what happens, we can only have between 20 - 30 grams of carbs a day, no sugar, and lots of water. You do this from Sunday morning until 6 pm Friday night. At 6 on Friday you get to eat what you want right thru till Sunday morning.
Well, if you read my last post you will have read that last week was a rather stressful one. The good thing is I didn't cheat once, mainly because I just didn't feel much like eating even though the house was full to the rim with wonderful foods friends and family brought over. No, I did not eat any of the red velvet cupcakes, no I did not have an cheesy potato's, no I did not eat one piece of the wonderful lemon poppy seed loaf. I followed it to a tee, even thought my normal routine is to gorge myself when I am stressed and sad.
So, Sunday morning comes along and it's time to check the scale and measure again. Well, no surprise to me, the scale didn't move. At this point I am feeling like, again nothing works, and then we take the measurements. I lost 7.5 flipping inches people. Amazing, I could hear the angles singing. I have no flipping idea how one loses inches and no pounds, but hey what do I know. All I know is that it is working, not in the area's I wanted it to work in, but it is still working.
The stomach did not go down much, maybe a half inch. The butt and upper legs both lost 1 inch each but most of the loss was in my bust and upper arms, which hey, ain't too shabby!
This week has been a bit more challenging. Don't know why, but it has. I want bread this week like no bodies business, and OH LORD we walked into Timmie's to get a decaf and those items behind that wonderful glass case literally stood up and sang my name when I entered the door!!!
I will not give in, all I will do is save it all up until Sat and then I will allow myself something special.
The other wonderful changes that have happened during this process is my colon has become one happy camper. Those little poop's are all twisty and turny like Dr. OZ says they should be, so HALLELUJAH!! The other thing is the blood sugar is pretty good, not exactly great but I have been kind of doing nothing lately except sitting around admiring the 7.5 inches lost!!
I am rather excited to see what the measuring tape has in store for me this Sunday, but really I can't wait until 6 pm Friday!!
I had been doing some research and discovered that there is a reason I am round around the middle and have a large butt and upper legs....seems my hormones are out of whack. This is total news to me, why didn't anyone ever tell me that before?
So it seems there is a way to *fix* these things and it all has to do with reducing carbs and eating more lean meats. Wow, again, why didn't anyone ever tell me this?
So two Sundays ago we began our quest to reduce or middles and take some of the heft off the butt and legs.
We did all the incredibly embarrassing things, like weigh ourselves (not good) and took all our measurements (bigger not good), as we read that we will lose lots of inches....I was not holding my breath. So we were set, ready for this ONE to finally work.
This is what happens, we can only have between 20 - 30 grams of carbs a day, no sugar, and lots of water. You do this from Sunday morning until 6 pm Friday night. At 6 on Friday you get to eat what you want right thru till Sunday morning.
Well, if you read my last post you will have read that last week was a rather stressful one. The good thing is I didn't cheat once, mainly because I just didn't feel much like eating even though the house was full to the rim with wonderful foods friends and family brought over. No, I did not eat any of the red velvet cupcakes, no I did not have an cheesy potato's, no I did not eat one piece of the wonderful lemon poppy seed loaf. I followed it to a tee, even thought my normal routine is to gorge myself when I am stressed and sad.
So, Sunday morning comes along and it's time to check the scale and measure again. Well, no surprise to me, the scale didn't move. At this point I am feeling like, again nothing works, and then we take the measurements. I lost 7.5 flipping inches people. Amazing, I could hear the angles singing. I have no flipping idea how one loses inches and no pounds, but hey what do I know. All I know is that it is working, not in the area's I wanted it to work in, but it is still working.
The stomach did not go down much, maybe a half inch. The butt and upper legs both lost 1 inch each but most of the loss was in my bust and upper arms, which hey, ain't too shabby!
This week has been a bit more challenging. Don't know why, but it has. I want bread this week like no bodies business, and OH LORD we walked into Timmie's to get a decaf and those items behind that wonderful glass case literally stood up and sang my name when I entered the door!!!
I will not give in, all I will do is save it all up until Sat and then I will allow myself something special.
The other wonderful changes that have happened during this process is my colon has become one happy camper. Those little poop's are all twisty and turny like Dr. OZ says they should be, so HALLELUJAH!! The other thing is the blood sugar is pretty good, not exactly great but I have been kind of doing nothing lately except sitting around admiring the 7.5 inches lost!!
I am rather excited to see what the measuring tape has in store for me this Sunday, but really I can't wait until 6 pm Friday!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)