P is for Penis

When Zeb was born I got talked out of getting him circumcised. Even though we have universal health care here in Canada, circumcision is not covered, so  when a baby boy is born there is a decision to make.  Usually it comes down to money, but I am sure for some being circumcised or not plays a big role in their family (the whole, well I want him to look like his daddy kind of thing).  I didn't have a need for him to look like anyone, or a religious conviction, so I was convinced that it was not necessary.  Damie  wanted it done, and well I wish I had listened to her. 

He was born tongue tied and had a ear/nose/throat specialist come in and clip it.  This was very traumatic for me, so I was easily persuaded against the circumcision.  I had heard my baby scream louder than I had ever heard him do when that mean old doctor cut his little tongue, there was no way anyone was getting anywhere near that penis.

Having Zeb was no easy feat.  I started labour at 4 am on the 2nd of Dec. and I had him at 6 pm on the 4th of Dec.  More than 57 hours of labour.  By the time he finally came out I was beyond done with pain.  The three of us then spent the next day and a half in that hospital room, getting to know each other, and feeling like a family.  The nurses were rude, at best, and stayed clear of our room.  I can't say for sure, maybe they are just rude to everyone, but I think it just might have had something to do with the fact that it was two mommies.  You should have seen the nurse try to help me get him to latch on, she stood by the end of the bed and tried to talk me through it.  When he wouldn't latch on she looked in his mouth and said, "well the kid is tougue tied and the doctor won't be in until Monday (this was Sat.) so you better start giving him a bottle until then".  Well, that's what ended up happening, and then even after getting the tougue clipped he wouldn't latch on because the bottle was less work for him.  I spent many nights up at the hospital in their breast feeding clinic trying to get him to do it, to no avail.  This would end up being one of the biggest stressors, as well as one of my biggest regrets in life.

When Zeb was three I was watching a Dr. Oz show.  This particular show was about many things, but one of the topics was  the pro's and con's of circumsisum.  He talked about all the societies currently that do not circumcise and how that there is an 80% increased risk in those societies for uncircumcised men to contract STD's, but most importantly the AIDS virus.  Instantly I wanted him circumcised.

We made an appointment with our family Dr, who then made an appointment with a urologist, who then told us he would do it for a certain amount of money.  We booked the appointment a month or so later, and we were set.

We talked to Zeb about what was going to happen, we wanted him to be as prepared as he could be.  He wasn't yet 4 so he really didn't understand much, but what he did understand was that he could tell all his classmates in daycare that he was going to a penis doctor.  We found out from some other parents how their kids had come home and told them that Zeb was getting an operation on his penis.  He was the talk of the class!!

We had to be at the hospital very early in the morning, as Zeb was one of the first ones being done that day.  I know I was worried and very nervous, I didn't really know what to expect after, but I was prepared for the worst.  My poor little boy was going to have his little penis cut in half and it was going to really hurt him.  Of course I went through the whole "am I doing the right thing? Does he really need this? What was I thinking?" but Damie just kept reassuring me that it was going to be okay.  Zeb, well he was just enjoying the excitement and the attention.



Zeb went into the operating room and Damie and I waited, and an hour later he was in recovery.  They came and got me, as only one parent could be in there at once, and when I got to his little crib he was just coming out of the anesthesia and was crying very quietly.  I felt so bad for him, and of course I questioned if I had done the right thing, but all in all we got through it. 

For the next week or so Zeb walked like he had a load in his pants, it was kind of funny to look at.  He had a hard time using the bathroom at first, but that went away in a day or so.  We were glad to have it over and really felt that we had made the right decision.

Over the years since the operation, his penis has not exactly healed the way we had intended.  Each year it has grown more and more to the right, so much so that now he has to sit to urinate so as to not get it all over the seat and floor.  This is very concerning for us, so off to the Dr we went.  

Our family Dr sent us to see a plastic surgeon in Nov.  He took a look at Zeb's penis and decided that unless it is pointing to the right during an erection, he did not feel it was necessary to do anything about it.  He sent us home with the task of getting a picture of his penis during an erection.

I have to tell you, there are times that I have felt the need for a daddy in the picture, and this is definitely one of those times.  I have no business taking a picture of my 7 yr old son's erection, but you have to do what you have to do.  

Zeb sees the plastic surgeon next month, where he will see by the pictures that, yes his penis does still pull to the right even when he has an erection, and then the poor little guy will have to have surgery once again on his penis.  

I am sure you can see why not having him circumcised at birth is one of my biggest regrets in life.  I wanted to spare him the pain then, but now I have made him already go through one major painful experience and so another.  My suggestion to all parents out there who may not want to do it at birth, it is alot better then having to do it when they remember the pain.

Definitely a Bad Mommy moment!!