Impulse control problems

My son has ADHD, no not the over prescribed kind but the real kind.  Most of the area's of concern with him are his impulse control problems.

These impulses can be a simple as not being able to sit at the piano when he plays, but instead needing to stand and move while he plays.  That being said, some of the more difficult impulses can be seeing a fellow class mate in the hall and impulsively needing to tighten the scarf around her neck to the point of leaving a mark.  As parents we do our best to help with both, however it is very difficult to convince someone to not do what impulsively they can't seem to control.

Over the years he has gotten better about controlling his impulses, only struggling occasionally with things that get out of hand.  As his mother I have to think about doing, what for other parents would be simple daily things.  One good example of this is if I were to send my son to school with an umbrella, as I did today, I have to first go over the rules regarding that umbrella.  I repeat the rules, and then have him repeat them back to me, and then all I can do is hope that he doesn't get it in his mind at some point to use that umbrella as a weapon on another child.  Impulses can come out of no where, and at the same time I can sometimes see them coming.  I would much rather see it coming than be shocked by them, but that is hardly ever the case.

Because of his ADHD I have to stay on him all the time.  I want him to follow even the simplest instructions, just to teach him to follow whatever it is he is being told.  I know that if someone were to live in our world they may feel that I am hard on him, but I have to be the way I am.  It is very important to me to raise a productive member of society, but more important to me to raise a kind, caring individual.  I need him to focus, to learn to follow direction, and to understand that we say things because they actually mean something rather than because we just like to make rules.  For us, if we didn't make sure he towed the line, we would have a child who was so out of control no one would ever enjoy being in his presence. 

There are wonderful things that have come from the ADHD.  He has the ability to hyper focus, which allows him to devour new concepts like he was eating a big piece of cake.  He gets so focused on things like the Titanic, or Beethoven that he learns all about them.  This leads to more conversation about related material, which leads to move devouring, and soon we know more about certain subjects then we ever really wanted to know.  He also has this vivid imagination that I have never experienced before in my life.  He can spend hours playing "school" or doing what he calls "the Zeb channel" .  These activities bring a real unique quality to our kid, and we appreciate him in a way we may not if he didn't have ADHD.

When we first got the diagnoses we cried.  I was so worried that people would just label him, and alternatively just not try to help him.  I worried that there would be no "real" support for me as a parent, and that I would be left to my own devices....something I didn't feel really confident with.  We have not found any of these fear to be real.  Luckily we  have had lots of support and understanding people in our lives that have helped us through some of the more difficult situations.  If it weren't for these wonderful advocates I'm not sure where we would be.

Having a child with ADHD isn't all bad, but it does give us a run for our money some days.  We decided two years ago to start him on medication (a decision that we did not want to make, one that we kind of fought for a long time).  Since starting him on meds we have experienced remarkable differences in what he is able to do, and what he has learned to control.  Meds may not be for everyone, but for us we didn't feel we were doing him a favor by not letting him at least try a tool that was available to him to make his school days better, and more productive.  This is exactly what has happened.  He scores above the charts in IQ tests, and is excelling in school.  I can also tell you this, the days without meds are not enjoyable to his parents, but more importantly not enjoyable to him.  The days he goes without is like a day filled with endless "no's" "Stop it's" and "sit down and chill".  I know it's harder on him, and us, so we don't do it.

He is an amazing little boy, who has so much to offer, and so much to give.  Yes sometimes he makes his peers angry, maybe even not enjoy being around him, but there will be a day when being his friend is going to be what all the kids want.  He is the kind of kid that will draw kids to him, someday.  I couldn't imagine him any other way, and wouldn't trade him for the world.